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Enhancing general public health cannot be achieved by unilateral measure (sports)


bigbanglov 1 / -  
Aug 25, 2011   #1
Topic:Some people think the government should increase the sports facilities to solve the public health problems. However, others think that other measures should be taken to help resolve this problem. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The constant decline of public healthy condition has been an disturbing problem in many countries. Accordingly, the authorities are confused about how to eradicate such phenomenon and ensure their citizen a healthy life.

As a matter of fact, providing the public an access to the sports facilities can relieve this phenomenon to some extents. Due to the restrictions of living condition and financial status, not all communities are equipped with public sports facilities, and not all people especially those from impoverished family can afford the relatively high entrance fee of fitness centre. Therefore, the investment in public sports facilities just provide those individuals a chance to do exercise and keep fit.

However, the enhancement of general public health cannot completely depend on the proliferation of sports equipment. Substantially, the root reason why people are unwilling to do exercise is they are still not aware about how severe consequence would be due to lack of exercise. In current society, modern people are facing high risk of obesity high pressure and heart disease as they tend to spent the majority of time sitting in front TV set and computer, or charting with their friends though telephone. For a long time, they just cultivate a sedentary lifestyle which has no profit to personal wellbeing. Accordingly, the most practical way to encourage individuals to go out for exercise is to raise their awareness and help them mould a correct concept towards doing exercise.

By way of conclusion, enhancing general public health cannot be achieved by unilateral measure, and all that we can do is to address this phenomenon from the root cause and prompt individuals to take actions by various means.

please help me check it and make a judgement. thanks so much
mohamed nawaz 2 / 3  
Aug 25, 2011   #2
it would be better in my opinion if you write the statement " The constant decline of public helth condition has been a major problem in many countries"

thank you,
ghafarimahsa 15 / 41  
Aug 25, 2011   #3
I think it is better for your essay to take a clear possition in your first paraghraph. For example write " I do not utterly agree with this assertion to some extent, which the reason are discussed as follows."

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD LUCK


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