Entering children to study at school is essential way to get education and social experience

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Education is a pivotal key to conquer the world. There is no doubt that entering children to study at school is essential way to get overall educational and social experiences, whilst it is believed that homeschooling provides what children needs regarding their own interest. Even though both views are entirely true to some extent, I firmly believe that all of the notions have upsides that should be taken into consideration to improve child's developments.

Needless to say, learning at school offers children to get more knowledge and learn how to get on with each other. A study of Utrecht University in 2015 found that children who sent to school are more likely to explore their whole potential so that they can achieve good academic performances. In addition, they tend to have good intrapersonal skills as they interact with others from diverse background which can lead to succeed in the society. Nevertheless, statistics reveals that many parents are not satisfied with local schools due to serious school violence. This means that some parents decide to educate their children at home by controlling them directly.

Apart from previous discussion, homeschooling gives the best way to respond children's needs with their pace. By doing so, these homeschoolers can get much faster progress because its concept allows them to learn one-to-one lessons. TIMSS (Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study) reported in 2014 that children who take homeschooling has successfully gained higher score in mathematics and science Olympiad for a decade compared by children from public schools. On the other hand, it seems that homeschooling only focuses on children's development, yet there is no alteration for them to socialize with their peers.

The aforementioned evident shows that schools can maximize child's potentials to broaden their horizon both educational and social skills. However, it is believed that homeschooling concept are created to teach children getting faster progress regarding their needs. (317 words)

Hello Mr. @abangabul93 :)
Here are few of my corrections for you :)

Education is a pivotal key to conquer=> conquering the world.

Apart from ('USING ARTICLE "THE") previous discussion, ...... ..who take homeschooling has =>have successfully gained ...

... homeschooling conceptare=> is created to teach children ...

Overall, I think your essay already good and clear enough :) .
Keep Writing :)