Nowadays, entering higher education at overseas has gained popularity

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country

Nowadays, entering higher education in oversea has gained popularity. While some people accept that there are advantages to this decision, others think that it has many disadvantages.

The opinion of studying in a foreign nation is drawbacks to some extent. The main shortcoming is that students have to expenditure too much money on their basic needs, including accommodation, food, and other bills. All these were more prohibitively expensive than in the country and this increases the financial pressure on them. Besides, living oversea makes students encounter differences in culture such as festivals, cuisines, lifestyles. This requires overseas students to need much time to adapt, which leads to neglect learning and low academic results.

On the other hand, it seems to many people choosing to study abroad because of some undeniable advantages. Firstly, studying abroad provides students with opportunities to learn in top-ranked universities, where has excellent professors and modern learning equipment. This helps them to obtain specialized knowledge and an international learning environment. This makes it easier for them to get a well-paid job. Secondly, students had many opportunities to communicate with native citizens in various cultures. This improves social knowledge, English-speaking skill, and increases the likelihood of communicating. All these help students to become mature than on their peers.

In conclusion, some citizens believe that there are many benefits to studying abroad, although this decision has come notable drawbacks.

Hi
The first point is you should type your topic completely here to let everyone understand that type of topic is
The second point is your introduction and your conclusion are too short that people feel you want to pass them quickly
The third point is some grammar mistakes
- "Secondly, students have many opportunities..." (why you used past tense here)
- you shouldn't write "seem" in the essay
- ... to become more mature than their peers.

You totally missed the point of the essay. You were being asked to deliver a personal opinion regarding the topic. Do you think it is an advantage or disadvantage? The discussion instruction was:

Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

What should have done with this question was analyze the question basis. What is the background for the question? What do you think about studying abroad? If you were given the chance to go abroad to continue your studies? Would you take the opportunity? If yes, why? If no, why? Weigh your responses. Which side do you agree with more? Based on your personal preference, discuss the topic. Base your discussion ONLY on the side that you support / agree with.

You used a general comparative discussion approach. That is only used in the comparative essay format (Discuss both points of view...) In this case you have 2 possible approaches to the discussion.

- Show an advantage point, but then present reasons why it is a disadvantage

OR

- Present an advantage point and explain why this cannot be considered a disadvantage

This is the format I often advise my students to use . That is the more appropriate and better scoring A/D paragraph discussion.Show an advantage as the topic sentence, but then proceed to explain why it isn't an advantage after all. It shows a clearer and more connected discussion paragraph. It also allows the student to discuss 2 topics by using one reason per topic.

The discussion response, at the end of the prompt paraphrase should be:

If I were given a chance to study abroad, I would consider it a dis/advantage for 2 reasons.

Use a single discussion topic paragraph discussion paragraph. Consider your response very well. Use at least 10 minutes to outline and consider your response. Your discussion development should be based on your strong opinion or support for one point of view. This essay shows only a discussion but no decision on your end regarding a particular side to support. Your essay will be scored low because of this indecision in specific sections of the scoring rubic. Remember to consider your personal preference as this is what the essay is using as the basis of your response.