Entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money for their job

Task 2: Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money.

do you agree or disagree?

Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

One of the most important industries with a nation is entertainment industry, which fosters the develelopment of this country's economy. Therefore, many people argue that artists related to this field are paid too much money such as film stars, pop musicians or sport stars. Howerver, I disagree with the opinion given, because I believe there are several reasons to admit that they deserve what they contribute.

In my opinion, there are two obvious factors why entertainers should be well-paid. Firstly, entertainment performances bring us the relaxation, excitement during boring and depression time. According to a survey, people spent most their spare time on watching entertainment shows to be inspired and motivated to have a better life through artists' vivid experience. Secondly, entertainers have been practicing for many times to bring the best quality performances to audiences. They have gone through severe training and taken many risks during their practice time, which sometimes result to both mental and physical health problems.

In addition, I also think that there are other professions besides film, music, sport sector should also be highly paid. For instance, some careers related to military or army officials which people in this field devote their whole life for their jobs and being ready to take risks anytime. Moreover, some occupations such as teaching, doctors, politics, etc. which contribute to the long-term countries' development as well as take the high responsibilities and high level of perception, also deserve high salary. Well-paid is an effective method to attract such potential people to make sure of the sustainable growth of countries.

To conclude, I believe that entertainers should have high pay that they deserve. Besides, other types of jobs which involved high risks, responsibilities and skills also be paid well.

The writer has several spelling (e.g. develelopment= development) and word reference (e.g. with a nation = within a nation) errors in the essay. These show that the writer was not concerned about the quality of the work. There was no effortto submit a high quality piece of writing in relation to scoring as the writer made no effort to proofread, edit, and correct the errors. The essay will have deductions due tothe carelessness of the with when it comes to the final presentation The writer opted to submit a draft for scoring and will get the results such half-baked work deserves.

The reference to a survey is another mistake as a survey is related to researched information. This reference runs counter to the requirement of info being based on personal experience or knowledge, and publicly known information. These elements do not require reference to researched data.