Hi everyone. I am practicing writing to score around 7.0. I look forward to your comments and correction. Many thanks!
Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment.
What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?
Over the past decade, environmental issues have become a hotly debated topic among others since people constantly do harm to our living place. This essay will mention some ways which threaten our environment and some actions that countries and their citizens could take to tackle those issues.
In order to achieve the convenience that human beings have today, we have made good use of the mainly natural resources which are fossil fuels. However, consuming coal, oil, gas for the world production and transportation has released a great amount of emissions, which cause air pollution and global warming. In addition, the availability of all kinds of products also encourages people to consume more, which lead to the overproduction of waste.
Governments could certainly help improve this situation. The public transportation system should be facilitated and upgraded to be convenient, which will help attract much more people using it. When a lot of people use the public transport, the burden on the environment will be decreased. In terms of managing waste, more waste processing facilities should be built to effectively handle the waste.
Each person can also join hands to save the environment by trying to use public transport like subway, bus or simply sharing vehicles with friends or neighbors. We could bring our own bags when going shopping and try to recycle as much as possible. Nowadays, a lot of stores provide consumers with sustainable packaging such as biodegradable or cloth bags and straws made from paper, wood or even flour.
In conclusion, it is vital that each of us makes effort to protect our environment in every day activities.
In my opinion, I suggest in the begining of second paragraph, you can directly put that how human damage the environment instead of the reasons.
I mean simply change the order of your sentences, which would make you writing clearer.
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Your presentation is uneven and incomplete. You are being asked for 2 ways that we damage the environment and suggestions as to how the public and the government can fix the problem. The discussion approach per paragraph should have been:
Sentence 1: Method by which humans damage the environment
Sentence 2: Why this damages the environment
Sentence 3: What the government can do to solve the problem
Sentence 4: What people can do to help the government solve the problem
Sentence 5: Transition sentence (optional)
Note that the discussion asks for plural reasons and solutions. Therefore, you should present 2 problems in the 2 reasoning paragraphs, properly developed to reflect the information I provided above. That is the presentation that will allow you to present a clear and related series of discussion sentences in every paragraph. That is the correct format for the discussion.