I always write and then correct by myself, so I really hope you can revise my writing and give me some advice. Thank you in advance.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The environmental issue is too complex to be handled by individuals.
Environmental issue, in some ways, might be so complicated that it is hard to be handled by individuals. Things like global warming, air pollution, and energy crisis, these kinds of problems can be barely solved by one's effort because they involve a large range which even extend to the whole world. Based on such reason, many people may think that one person's effort can't have any influence upon environmental problems. However, my attitude is the opposite of such statement; subtle power as we have, we can still do something more or less to save our Earth.
As we trace back to the origin of the environmental problems, they were actually all built up by every humans' unconscious behavior. Any environmental problems didn't form in one day; they were led by various factors and accumulated day by day, and eventually interweaved into complex problems. For instance, the main cause of global warming is due to the increasing density of carbon dioxide. Nevertheless, it's impossible to cause the situation just by several factories or some industrial cities. Global warming mainly arises from deforestation and fossil deforestation which are related to our daily life, and I believe that all humans are responsible for this problem. Therefore, since such issues resulted from people, why not it can't be handled by every individual? In fact, without every individual's assistance, these kinds of issues are hardly solved radically. Albeit one person's effort is limited, as people aggregate together, they can exert unexpected power to cope with those tough issues. For example, to decrease the density of carbon dioxide, car driving should be reduced as possible as we can. In that case, if most of the people are aware of this concept and turn to take mass transportation, the possibility of fulfilling this objective can be really optimistic. Once it achieves to the certain extent, I believe it can bring a great effect in solving global warming.
Moreover, sometimes one person's efforts can even cause a surprising influence which is out of expectation. For example, to make all people participate in the eco-friendly activities, it's necessary to raise their environmental awareness. At the moment, friends can bring great influence since people's minds tend to be affected by their friends. On account of the reason, we can try to convince our friends of doing something that is beneficial to our environments. By the time we succeed to persuade them, they will also begin to affect their friends. As everyone attempts to do this small movement, it can eventually interlock into an enormous effect, making plenty of people have the consciousness of protecting environments. Especially these days, despite only several individuals, they can propagate abundant information rapidly through media technology. As a consequence, when the one is talking to one person, he/her may be actually talking to a thousand.
In conclusion, to tackle those large-scale problems, we can't always depend on governments or some authoritative institutions. Also, there is no exactly one efficient way to work out environmental issues immediately. I believe that making every individual involve in the issue is the best yet practical way to solve the environmental issues.
Environmental issueS, in some ways, might be so TOO complicated that it is hard to be handled by individuals FOR SIMPLE INDIVIDUALS TO HANDLE. Things ISSUES like global warming, air pollution, and THE WORLD energy crisis, these kinds of ARE problems THAT can be barely solved by one's effort INDIVIDUAL EFFORTS because they involve a large THESE COVER A WIDE range OF SITUATIONS which even extend to the whole world. Based on such reasonS, many people may think that one person's effort can't have any influence upon environmental problems. However, my attitude BELIEF is the opposite of such A statement; THE subtle power as THAT we have AS INDIVIDUALS CAN ALLOW US , we can TO still do something more or less to save our Earth.
As we trace back to the origin of the environmental problems, they were actually all built up by every humans' unconscious behavior. Any environmental problems didn't form in one day; they were led by various factors and accumulated day by day, and eventually interweaved INTERWOVEN into complex problems. For instance, the main cause of global warming is dueto the increasing density of carbon dioxide IN THE AIR. Nevertheless, it's impossible to cause the situation just by SIMPLY BY HAVING several factories or some industrial cities. Global warming mainly arises from deforestation and fossil deforestation which are related to our daily life, and SO I believe that all humans are responsible forTHE CREATION OF this problem THESE PROBLEMS. Therefore, since such issues resulted from people, ARE RESULTNANT OF PEOPLE'S ACTIONS, why not it can't be handled by every individual? In fact, without every individual's assistance, these kinds of issues arehardly CANNOT BE solved radically. Albeit one person's effort is limited, as people aggregate together BAND TOGETHER TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM, they can exert unexpected power to cope with those tough issues. For example, to decrease the density of carbon dioxide, car driving should be reduced as MUCH AS possible as we can . In that case, if IF most of the people are aware of this concept and turn to take mass transportation, the possibility of fulfilling this objective can be really optimistic ACHIEVABLE. Once it achieves to the certain extent ONCE ACHIEVED TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, I believe it can bring a great effect in solving global warming.
Moreover, sometimes one person's efforts can even cause a surprising influence which is out of expectation. For example, to make all people participate in the eco-friendly activities, it's necessary to raise their environmental awareness. At the moment, friends can bring great influence since people's minds tend to be affected by their friends. (CITE AN EXAMPLE OF THIS EFFECTIVE METHOD) On account of the reason, we can try to convince our friends of doing something that is beneficial to our environments. By the time we succeed to persuade IN PERSUADING them, they will also begin to affect their friends. As everyone attempts to do PROMOTE this small movement, it can eventually interlock into an enormous effect, making plenty of CAUSING people TO have the consciousness BED CONSCIOUS of protecting OUR environments . Especially these days, despite only several individuals, they WHEN INDIVIDUALS can propagate abundant information rapidly through media technology. As a consequence RESULT, when the one is talking to one person, he/her may be actually talking to a thousand.
In conclusion, to tackle those large-scale problems, we can't always depend on governments or some authoritative institutions. Also, there is no exactlyone AND efficient way to work out environmental issues immediately. I believe that making every individual involveD in the issue is the best yet AND practical way to solve the environmental issues.
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This is a very well developed and thought out opinion essay. However, your opinion could be better supported if you could have offered one or two solid examples of the way the individual's can bring about change. There is too much theory and too little practical evidence in it. Also, I don't think you timed yourself when you wrote this essay. While writing a long essay is good, You should not use up all of the 30 minutes in simply writing a long essay. You need to leave time to proof-read and correct your essay. That said, this is an excellent effort that would have passed the actual test :-)
Thanks for your reply! I really learned a lot from your correction and advice. I always think that my writing is rife with unidiomatic phrasing, so now I think that I'd better check these errors several times to rectify the way of using language. Besides, what you guessed was right, I ran out of time in writing this essay. Because I'm also preparing for GRE, I think it's necessary that sometimes I have to try to write a long essay. I'll pay more attention and improve this problem. And finally, thanks again for your detailed revise!
ThingsProblems like global warming, air pollution, and energy crisis, these kinds of problems can be barely solved by one'san individual's effort because they involve efforts from a large range which...
However, my attitude is the opposite of such statement;: subtle power as we have...
