Environmental problems around the world are now so severe that an individual can no longer make a positive difference.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is believed that the global environment has deteriorated to such an extent that the efforts of a single person will not have any beneficial impacts anymore. I completely agree with this statement due to the environmentally un-friendly lifestyle of citizens and the ignorant attitudes of people in power.
Firstly, the current mind-set of the general public has increasingly become extremely ignorant towards the severe impacts their lifestyle choice has on our eco-logical system. The world has become so comfortable in exhausting the same non-reusable and non-recyclable items that it is no longer possible for an individual to fight this menace. For instance, The Great Barrier Reef in Australia can longer be restored and the turtles within are dying in thousands due to the amount of plastic thrown out into the ocean. In spite of being aware of the various damaging effects of plastic and its non-recyclable properties, we continue to use and discard plastic in enormous quantities around the world. The only way to salvage this situation is to come together as a society and make the changes necessary to protect the environment.
Secondly, the lack of support from influential and powerful people makes it challenging for individuals to make a significant difference. Recently a political world leader publicly discounted scientist's concerns regarding the alarming rate at which our climatic conditions are changing. Without the support of world leaders who have the financial capability and the ability to influence and sway the minds of millions, an individual alone cannot have any substantial impact.
In conclusion, it is imperative we as a society change our non-sustainable habits to have any kind of noteworthy positive impact on the environment. Additionally, individual's efforts to save the mother nature will be fruitless without the support of powerful world leaders.
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The overall discussion is sound. It is applicable to the given prompt requirement except, you offered solutions to the situation 3 times in the essay when none was required by the original prompt. Your discussion should not have veered past your complete agreement with the statement. If the essay does not instruct you to "provide possible solutions to the problem", you do not offer possible solutions anywhere within the essay. That is considered a prompt deviation, which creates an incorrect discussion format for the essay. Learn to read and understand the discussion requirements. Do not supply information that is not specified for inclusion in your discussion format. Doing so lowers your possible TA rating.
Your conclusion is also incorrect. You have not provided the minimum 3 sentence format that covers:
-The discussion topic
- Your opinion
- Summarized reasons presentation
- Closing sentence
You changed the parameters of the discussion in your conclusion to focus on your final opinion regarding the topic. Never forget, the conclusion is used only to remind the reader of the discussion points. You cannot continue the discussion in the conclusion since that will create an open-ended essay rather than a concluded opinion paper.
On a positive note, you did well in focusing the reasoning paragraphs on the defense of your sole opinion. That is the correct discussion format for this essay prompt. I am pleased that you knew to discuss only one point of view because most students accidentally / mistakenly use a comparative essay format, which is the incorrect format for this essay discussion instruction.