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An IELTS task 2 essay on environmental laws - waste recycling

Tunanut 6 / 12 5  
Nov 21, 2018   #1
Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

the recycling policy

It is true that we are throwing away more than we recycled. Some people think that the only approach to this problem is to make recycling mandatory, but I believe that we could and should take further actions to reverse this trend.

In my opinion, environmental laws against those who fail to recycle is a good solution to the problem. By introducing such regulations, people would be discouraged from irresponsibly dumping their refuse. For example, if the government impose heavy penalties on people who do not sort their waste as demanded, everybody will try their best not to be fined by obeying the sorting rules. As a result, there will be less waste not being recycled. Looking at the argument in this light, some may claim that laws are all we need to solve the problem.

However, I do not agree that punishing people is the only solution we have. For one reason, it would be impossible to catch every law offender; so, such a punishment system is rather unrealistic. For example, households in my country throw their waste directly into a public bin, which makes it very difficult to determine who failed to obey the recycling regulations. Another reason is that it would be more effective if the government put education at the heart of its policy. For instance, children can learn about plastic waste at school, and how simple things such as canvas bags can reduce the amount of waste not being recycled. Such measures can help generate good recycling habits among the future generation, something that laws alone can hardly achieve.

In conclusion, maybe we need to make recycling strictly required by laws, but this would not be the only way to cut down the volume of not recycled waste.
nuradiapuspa 11 / 25  
Nov 22, 2018   #2
Dear @Tunanut,

I have a few comments for your essay. Hopefully it helps.

Firstly, I think you should clearly state what your opinion is. If you argue that law is not the only way, you better mention what is the best way in your opinion in the first paragraph. On your essay, I think you still write the abstract thing by said that people could take further actions without mention what the actions are.

Secondly, in conclusion, i think you don't need to write "maybe", this indicates that you are not confidently stand in your opinion.

Good luck!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,013 4242  
Nov 22, 2018   #3
Dan, you keep on making the same mistakes it seems. You are too focused on delivering your own idea of how to discuss these essays that you are always neglecting to follow the required format for the response creation. In this instance, you must provide your response to the question at the end of the opening paraphrase. It becomes your thesis statement and the basis for the whole opinion essay, which is why you cannot stick the direct response in the middle of the essay. You respond in the manner that the question is asked or the instruction provided. For a direct question, always respond at the end of the prompt paraphrase. That is being scored as part of your TA abilities.

You must review the tense usage rules. Be consistent. You cannot use a current action, "throwing" to describe a past result, "recycled". The correct sentence presentation is "... throwing away more than we recycle". Use the current word form of the word. Make sure you understand the English writing rules and how to apply them in your writing. Mistakes in this section will severely affect your GRA score due to problematic sentence structures and grammar errors.

Your essay would have been much stronger if you had properly placed your third paragraph as your second paragraph instead because that is more in line with the prompt requirements. The problem with this third paragraph is that it is trying to discuss too many topics in one paragraph, causing you to go over the maximum sentence count of 5. The topics presented do not go beyond being mere discussion points that lack an accurate development in terms of reasoning and supporting explanations. One topic per paragraph is enough as long as you show:

1. A subject sentence
2. A reasoning sentence
3. A supporting sentence
4 Example (optional)
5. Transition sentence

I mentioned the transition sentence your essay is very choppy in presentation. A smooth flowing discussion scores better when you show the reviewer that you are capable of using transition phrases or sentences to introduce succeeding topics. That is why you need to make sure that your discussions focus on one topic alone that you can use to introduce another topic.

Your conclusion should be at least 3 sentences for maximum scoring. You cannot use the term "maybe" in this presentation because you are not continuing the discussion of a new opinion in the conclusion. There is a reason it is called the concluding summary. You are to present a second version of the opening paraphrase, this time focusing on the discussion points in reference to your opinion, which closes the discussion.
OP Tunanut 6 / 12 5  
Nov 22, 2018   #4
Thanks, I will try harder next time.

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