Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Should environmental problems be solved on a global scale or better to deal with it nationally?

Danielphan 1 / 1  
Jul 21, 2018   #1
Topic: Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

environment protection issue

Here is my writing.

In the modern world, protecting the environment is getting attention more and more. There are opinions that environmental problems should be responded by global organizations while others believe that these issues had better be carried out by nations. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and try to reach a conclusion.

There are several reasons why environmental problems should be elucidated internationally. First, global environmental organizations which have a number of countries attending will be able to have certain impacts on them. For example, the global environmental facility (GEF), which has 183 countries, brings out certain levels of limited industrial exhausted air to their participants. At the same time, these organizations also have the abilities to punish countries which have harmful actions to the environment or celebrate those which have efforts in protecting the environment.

However, the issue of environmental problems should also be tackled by the government of each country. Each country knows its environment condition best so its government will have appropriate actions for environmental reservation. For example, due to the hazardous of air pollution in Hanoi, the Vietnamese government has drafted an environmental plan that is to reduce 20% of NO2 and SO2 from 2020 to 2025.

In conclusion, it can be argued that solving environmental problems nationally be easy to make progress, my own opinion is that environmental issues being handled globally is crucial and effective to conserve the environment. The synergy of countries for a green earth will bring a bright future in generations.

dimdim02 7 / 13 1  
Jul 21, 2018   #2
avoid repetition of environment/environmental. using a reference word is better, for example: it, this, that or find the synonyms of environment

synonyms of environment are: habitat, wildlife, nature, the earth, the biosphere, the ecosystem etc
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,926 2183  
Jul 22, 2018   #3
Tien, your opening paraphrase was almost acceptable. You made a mistake in your prompt instruction restatement. You were being asked to deliver your own opinion after comparing the two points of view. You were not being asked to come to a conclusion regarding the given discussion. Aside from that slight misdeclaration, you did a good job on presenting the prompt paraphrase. It is close enough to the original.

The biggest problem of this practice essay though is that you have included actual research in the paragraph presentations as part of your reasoning. Since this pencil or ink based test does not give you access to a computer at the testing center, you should not make it a habit to use researched information in your reasoning. Use your personal opinion or information gained from public knowledge instead.

That is not to say that you made a mistake in reasoning. It just means that your reasoning is good but in the actual setting, you will not have the opportunity to do research in response to a question. So it would be best not to practice taking the test in a manner that you won't be able to accomplish in the testing center.

By the way, your personal opinion should be the 3rd paragraph presentation in a comparison essay. It cannot be part of the concluding statement because the personal opinion needs to be built up in the same manner as the comparison discussions. This is your chance to indicate if you support a particular idea and why. The conclusion should just summarize the discussion and close the essay.

This is a good start but your reasoning and presentation needs some work. You are on the right track though so keep it up. Just note the advice given to you and apply it to future practice essays.
OP Danielphan 1 / 1  
Aug 1, 2018   #4
Thanks a lot for your advice......

Home / Writing Feedback / Should environmental problems be solved on a global scale or better to deal with it nationally?