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IELTS TASK 2: environmental topic, fossil fuels / other forms of energy

emIELTS 1 / 3 1  
Mar 29, 2017   #1
fossil fuels are the main sources in many countries, but in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. is it a postive or negative development?

Fossil Fuels vs Alternative Energy Sources

The consumption of fossil flues witnesses a dramatic increase in many parts of the world, while renewable clean energy sources are also applied in some advanced countries. I am supportive of the view that the utilization of renewable energy has a positive impact on environment and people's lives.

First of all, over-consumption of fossil resources can pollute and destroy local ecosystem. These valuable fossil fuels will be irreplaceable if they are depleted. Meanwhile enormous disasters, such as floods, sand storms and acid rain, can occur frequently, since the balance of ecosystem has been destroyed during fossil fuel exploration and development.

Furthermore, the generation of fossil flues can have an adverse impact on people's living standard, especially the healthy condition. The toxin released from fossil flues can pose a severe threat on people's health, even damaging life. In China, for instance, citizens today have to wear mask when they are outside, as the result of contamination particle generated from fossil fuels.

In contrast, the popularity of renewable energy can either satisfy people's daily demands or mitigate the environment impact caused by human activities. Wind power, solar panels and hydroelectric power are unlikely to generate toxic gas and emit pollutant and rather cheap, so the optimal use of such alternatives is more likely to accelerate social development in a sustainable way.

In conclusion, replacing fossil fuels with other forms of energy is undoubtedly a positive revolution, since such improvement can minimize pollution to a large extent, and achieve environmentally friendly in a practical way.
frenchfries 7 / 18  
Mar 29, 2017   #2
Hello, your essay is good, I like some good vocabs in your writing.
I think you should pay attention to plural and countable nouns. For example, ''toxic gases'' instead ''toxic gas'' and ''pollutants'' instead ''pollutant''
Your conclusion must have at least 3 sentences.
OP emIELTS 1 / 3 1  
Mar 29, 2017   #3
I am really appreciate your commons, cause I didnt realize that gas and pollutant are countable noun, thank you for your help!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,881 4564  
Mar 29, 2017   #4
Emily, unless you are specifically asked to do so in the prompt instructions, you should never write the essay from a personal point of view. The pronouns to be used here should be third person pronouns because you should be only informing the reader instead of trying to influence an opinion or belief. As such, your essay could be scored down for not properly representing the prompt instructions. You should also be careful of your grammar and spelling. Points are lost for careless writing such as "flues" when you meant "fuels". You are scored on grammar accuracy and lexical resource so by being careless in the way that you form the words, you show that you are not capable of writing coherently in English, thus further lowering your score consideration. Although you make some pretty good arguments in your essay, the mistakes that you made resulted in a lowering of your score from a possible 6 to a 5.
OP emIELTS 1 / 3 1  
Mar 29, 2017   #5
thank you for your replying, I will check my words carefully next time. By the way, how can I present my opinions under such questions, do you have any good examples? agian, is there any other problem in my writting? I am really appreciate for your help.
Doel Hasan 1 / 3 1  
Mar 29, 2017   #6
For help use these websites :
1. ieltsmaterial (Writing task 1 and 2 samples are really good)
2. ielts-mentor (Good for speaking samples)
Use these websites to read high band score samples and learn from them.
Practice and practice. By the the way I got 7.5 in IELTS and currently trying to get study visa for Canada. Wish me luck and pray for me.

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