Hi everyone. This is my essay for economics class. Um, my economics teacher use this phrase a lot which is K.I.S.S. (Keep it simple, students/stupid) I tried to do the same for my essay but I think it turned out of be too simple. It is a 5 page essay which was extremely difficult for me to do. I have major problems with grammar and basically the flow of the essay. I can think of how I what I want to write but when it comes down to actually writing it, I fail usually. The end product is never what I wanted it to be like.The essay looks bad to me plus the essay is worth 2 test grades.
Please help me correct it. You can tear the whole essay to shred, I can bear the criticism if it helps me to become a better writer. Thanks!
It's one in the morning. The whole house asleep except for yours truly. The television cast a ghostly glow to the room. Empty soda cans lie haphazardly around. My face fixed to the center of the television screen in a zombie-like gaze. I was finally at the first boss, after having to navigate the treacherous lake filled with all kinds of unspeakable horrors. I almost killed the gigantic monster until a knock came from the door. It released me from my stupor. My mother, awaken from the loud shrieks and screams coming from the television, was standing outside the door waiting to strike like that demon hound. It was Monday morning and I definitely had school to go to. I quickly turned off the television. Sitting on the bed, I glanced around the room seeing a pile of video games yet to be played from years.
It is undoubtedly frustrating to see a game go unfinished. Which is why I believe episodic content, in other words episodic games, will be the wave of the future. The best analogy is comparing episodic games with TV shows. The cost of developing an episodic game would be less than a regular game. I'm thinking that the first episodic game would be a pilot to see if consumers are interested then thus expanding on the first game with additional episodes. The episodic game would attract consumers because of the lower price point. Instead of $49.99 for a regular game, it would only be $19.99 because of the less development time and resources used developing the game. Just like a successful TV show like LOST, 24, the unit. These TV shows build an audience over time. The same can be said about episodic games, if the game is engaging and challenging then it would build an audience. Having an audience has the potential of creating a steady stream of revenue for the game developers so they can continue to further the series. Since a lower price point is appealing to consumers, selling one hundred million copies of an episodic game at $19.99 versus ten million copies of a regular game at $49.99. To me, the obvious choice being the higher sold with the low price point. Plus I as a gamer get to enjoy spending less for a game.
One of the main reason for my support of episodic games is the reduced game length. I never have any time to actually finish a game since an average game takes around 8 hours to finish. There are also many gamers who dislike the idea of an episodic game. Why? They are basically practicing an episodic style by playing for a couple of hours then save the game and putting it away for a later date. It certainly does not lose the quality of the experience. I think it would make more sense to just purchase a game for a cheap price, and end up finishing it in a day. The feeling after that could potentially establish a dedicated fan base.
Video game is an expensive hobby. Now with the release of the PS3, the price is almost astronomical large. $500 for the lower end and $600 for the higher end. Coupled with the price tag of $50-$60 per game. The bill will continued to add up with new releases of video games due to higher end of technology. With a lower price point of episodic games, I can at least enjoy a little relief and so would many. Again episodic games being cheaper would allow new people, who have never played before, to enjoy.
Economically speaking, I believe that many of the developers can enjoy cheaper development cost since it would be a shorter game. It would allow developers to really innovate and focus on certain aspects of a game. Such as T.V. shows focusing on an aspect of a subplot while the series as a whole focus on the overall plot. In this age, when most games are formulaic, I think that new IP would drive new gamers and revenue for publishers and developers. An episodic game series allows developers to make necessary changes with gamers' opinion on it. It would also enable them to end the project if the episodic games is underwhelming. Allowing the developers to have time and some money to work on other potential AAA game.
Sure, some genres of games probably cannot be made in an episodic format like racing or sports games. Though those are similar to the episodic model because of the many releases such as Madden 2007 and so on albeit a engaging storyline. Plus many buy these type of games every time a new release come. Even it is practically the same game. It allows developers to keep the consumers longer for keep to shell out of the cash which does not bother the consumers at all since they are paying a low price. These episodic games have the potential of giving us unique views into different characters, new environment and advance the plot.
Some types of people simply do not have time to finish a game that they bought. I fit in this category of gamers. As of right now, I rarely buy games, not because of money restraints but that I do not have the time. Trying to balance work, school and free time is a very challenging task that often leaves me stress. The idea of an episodic game is extremely appealing that I can relax, and finish a game in a single but reasonable sitting.
Episodic games allow developers to work on the series as they go along. And have fewer developers working together on the series which allows for more coordination and exact planning instead of more then 100 people working on a game. Developers are allowed to innovate which is something that the game industry of today is missing. Sure, developing an episodic game does not guarantee a triple A hit. I believe that it raise the chances of the game to turn out to be a game of high caliber. I would like to reiterate that the game is not a teaser like a trailer for a movie. It is a game broken up into smaller bite size pieces allowing gamers to play casually. Also at a smaller price, consumers are allow to ditch the series if it turn out to not live up to expectation that previous games have set. It allow gamers including me to save money to spend on the next potentially great game. I personally think that the episodic model make sense economically and personally. It is basically a win-win situation for consumers and developers.
One of the major complaint about episodic game is that glitches and bugs would destroy the episodic series. Though this is true, developing games in episodic format allows this to be fixed due to consumer reaction and complaints with subsequent releases. While a regular games, the developers basically have no control over the game when it is released. If the episodic series is not going as planned, developers also have the choice to quit developing on it and move to a different project with save money and time for them. Instead of spending money and resources developing a regular game only for it to be a major dud in the market. Essentially episodic games allow both the consumer and developers to basically bail out of the series if it did not appeal to expectation.
Many also complain that they are not willing to play a part of a much larger game. Why not? I watch movie trilogies like Lord of the Rings, read serialized novels like The Vampire Earth series, and watch T.V. shows like 24. Many consumers are already doing this. I think episodic games are the most logical progression. The episodic games have the potential to be extremely good where the time can be spent on fleshing out the story, improving and innovating gameplay. An episodic game would cause many to be satisfy by their accomplishment by completing the game. It would cause excitement and hype for the next installment of the series.
Overall, I feel that episodic games are the next big thing. It would allow me to actually finish a game and feel satisfied with the experience and many other casual gamers. I also feel that it would also help developers bring in a rather steady source of revenue to continue what they are doing. It is an idea that would benefit both parties and produce wonderfully innovative and story driven games. Also hopefully breathe new life into an stagnating game industry.
Goodness, you're awfully hard on yourself! Sure, your essay could use a little help with the details, but you've got a great basic concept, and you state your position well. I think your arguments are convincing. I'll be glad to help you with proofreading and editing. So, line by line:
"The whole house asleep except for yours truly."
Insert the word "is"--I think you just overlooked it.
"The television cast a ghostly glow to the room."
"Casts" needs an "s", since you're writing in the present tense.
"My face fixed to the center of the television screen in a zombie-like gaze."
"My face fixed" is a little awkward. How about: "My eyes are glued to the center of the television screen with a zombie-like glaze." (Yes, I did mean "glaze"!)
"I was finally at the first boss, after having to navigate the treacherous lake filled with all kinds of unspeakable horrors."
I'm not sure what "at the first boss" means. I'm a gaming ignoramus, so if this is a technical term, it's probably fine as it is. If, however, you meant that you have finally reached a boss-type person and are about to engage in combat, it would be better to state that specifically ("I was finally about to fight the first boss, after . . . "). Come to think of it, ". . . after navigating a treacherous lake" might sound a little smoother.
"I almost killed the gigantic monster until a knock came from the door. It released me from my stupor."
How about: "I had almost killed the gigantic monster when a loud knock on my door released me from my stupor."
"My mother, awaken from the loud shrieks and screams coming from the television, was standing outside the door waiting to strike like that demon hound."
I would used "stood" instead of "was standing." "Was standing" is in the passive voice, which is a writing no-no. Also, I'm not clear as to which demon hound you mean. It might be better to say "a demon hound" or to name which hound ("that demon hound of the Baskervilles" or whatever).
"It was Monday morning and I definitely had school to go to."
". . . I definitely had to go to school" would be better.
"Sitting on the bed, I glanced around the room seeing a pile of video games yet to be played from years."
I'm not sure if you mean that there were unplayed video games that would take you years to get through, or if you've already spent years playing them. I also think the sentence could be tightened up a little: "Sitting on the bed, I stared at the pile of video games that would take me years to complete", or something like that (depending upon your meaning).
"It is undoubtedly frustrating to see a game go unfinished. Which is why I believe episodic content, in other words episodic games, will be the wave of the future."
The second sentence is incomplete by itself, but would be fine added to the first sentence (again, with a little tightening up). ". . . a game go unfinished, which is why I believe episodic games will be the wave of the future." I think your reader will understand that episodic games and episodic content are the same thing.
"I'm thinking that the first episodic game would be a pilot to see if consumers are interested then thus expanding on the first game with additional episodes."
I would take out "I'm thinking that" and start the sentence with "The first episodic game . . . "
The whole essay is about what you think, so you don't need to restate it. The end of the sentence needs clarification; maybe, ". . . if consumers are interested, then additional episodes would be developed to meet consumer demand."
"Instead of $49.99 for a regular game, it would only be $19.99 because of the less development time and resources used developing the game."
I think we could smooth this sentence out. Maybe something like: "The cost of an episodic game would be $19.99 instead of the $49.99 charged for a regular game. An episodic game would require less time to develop and use fewer resources, justifying the lower price."
"Just like a successful TV show like LOST, 24, the unit. These TV shows build an audience over time.
You've got another incomplete sentence, and the show titles need to be italicized: "Successful TV shows like LOST, 24 and The Unit build an audience over time."
"The same can be said about episodic games, if the game is engaging and challenging then it would build an audience. Having an audience has the potential of creating a steady stream of revenue for the game developers so they can continue to further the series."
How about: "An engaging and challenging episodic game would build the same kind of audience, providing a steady stream of revenue and enabling the developers to further the series."
"Since a lower price point is appealing to consumers, selling one hundred million copies of an episodic game at $19.99 versus ten million copies of a regular game at $49.99. To me, the obvious choice being the higher sold with the low price point. Plus I as a gamer get to enjoy spending less for a game."
We need to clean up a little muddiness here. Maybe you could start the sentence as you have it, then continue: ". . . consumers, the potential exists for selling one hundred million copies of an episodic game at $19.99, as opposed to ten million copies of a regular game at $49.99." Then you could go on to say something like: "As a business person, I prefer the scenario of higher numbers of sales with the low price point; as a gamer, I would enjoy spending less for a game."
Whoops--my clock just chimed at me, telling me I have to go for now. I will be happy to look over the rest of your essay later in the day. I hope the suggestions I have given you will help!
Until a later post,
Thanks a lot for the help! Please look over the rest of essay. I'm glad I didn't turn it in as it is because my teacher would probably given me an F. Since I'm doing it in MLA format, should the price and numbers be spelled out instead of $19.99?
"Sitting on the bed, I glanced around the room seeing a pile of video games yet to be played from years."
I meant to say that the piles of video games were yet to be played that were bought from years
Also once you look over the whole essay. Was the "flow" of the essay good? I think that I kind of flip-flop around a bit. I'm not too sure.
I'm so sorry I haven't been back to finish this yet. Life happened! I'll get back with it tomorrow.
Until then--no, you don't have to spell out money amounts, so you're fine!
The essay is due today. I'm sitting in one of my teachers' classroom and trying to proofread everything. Thanks for all your help. After fixing some of the parts you suggested and reading it to myself, it sounds 200% better. Thanks a ton!! I hope that the remaining parts isn't as filled with grammatical errors.