The equality of gender does not obtain a great achievement in many societies

The position of omen has changed. A great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender quality.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Women's position has altered over the five decades in many communities in the world. However, there is a view that the society is not allowed to state that they achieve gender equality. I extremely believe that the equality of gender does not obtain a great achievement in many societies in the world because the participation of women in several fields still limited.

The gender equality have been achieved in this modern era is a great result for the sake of humanities. Recently, we can meet women which are including in many fields in community over the world. For example, in many countries, women have the same right as men in legislation to be a legislative. As the result, politics in the world lead to become more friendly for women, who be able to participate in legislation. Therefore, it is a great achievement for gender equality in the modern world.

In contrast, although the position of women has transformed, the participation of women in several fields still limited. The dominating of men in several fields is bigger. In Indonesia, women is allowed to be a legislative, but the quota is limited, merely 30%. In addition, in the Middle East countries, women still taboo to do men activities. In Saudi Arabia, women are prohibited to drive her own car in their roads.

The aforementioned evidences reveal that the equality of gender does not acquire a great achievement. Women in the world still have limited access for doing activities in several fields. Nevertheless, the dominating of men has big impact for women position.

Hi erin, in my opinion, your writing is not answer the task clearly. Your task is to state do you agree or disagree toward the societies which claim to disapprove the gender quality. You even do not clarify your agreement in your conclusion. This is a fatal error in your writing which ay lead to the decrement of your score.

well, another suggestion are


you use gender equality too much, try to make another phrase to redefine it, as

Hi Erin,
In my opinion you have some gramatical error and you have to repair it. Besides, I think your body 1 and 2 do not answer the question. You should do brainstorming before you write it down.

your idea do not answer the question properly.