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awe_28 25 / 10 6  
Jan 5, 2016   #1
The internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the last three decades, there have been a lot of inventions, but internet is perhaps the most essential discovery which has changed the way of people lives completely. It is true that internet has helped people to improve their lives. However, I would argue that this immerse invention certainly has caused dire effects such us increase crime rate and unhealthy lifestyle.

The emergence of Internet has made alteration in the world especially for improving human life. Using internet can support their activities and make them faster or easier to be done. For example, when people have to inform their relatives or friends about important news, they do not need to meet them in the home. By using email or social networks, they are able to contact them more efficiently. Therefore, it proves that citizens will have more time and be able to do the other important activities.

Aside from the merit, the Internet brings more problems for society. Firstly, human lacks of physical activities which can cause unhealthy lifestyle. Evidence of this can be seen when teenagers just spend their day in front of computers to browse. In addition, there is insecurity feeling since internet provides place to do crimes. Some perpetrators nowadays are able to commit any crimes in internet such us hijacking or psychological treat which can brings harmful effects for the users.

To sum up, it is clear to me that although internet upgrades human live, the rising of crime rate and poor lifestyle are becoming serious problems of it. The right steps must be taken by responsible parties to reduce the impact.

Ssakshijain 28 / 146 87  
Jan 5, 2016   #2
Hi Nur

Here are my suggestions:

..but internet is perhaps the most essential discovery which has changed the way of people liveslifestyle of people completely
or which has changed the way the people live...you have mentioned way but way of what??? ...

Hey when I read the prompt and read your essay, I some how thinking different. The prompt does not ask about the positive and negative aspects of Internet but how it has changed lives from our past. So I guess, I would be more writing towards the contrast between past and present, time without internet and with internet. This is my view of reading the question, has it asked that internet has affected people lives in positive way. What do you think, then I would be writing what you wrote. But prompt said that it is the important invention so according to me you need to think different whether you see any difference or not and how much different? Difference from the old days when there was no net, so may be we can show the difference. For example, people in older days used telegrams or post cards but now it has changed. Then you can mention this point. Regarding crime rates, may be that in past days, there was no net, so no fear of being caught or internet hacking, but internet has interfered with security. You can mention the positive and negative but you should compare it with past in your essay and show the difference. Hope it helps:)
dreykusuma 4 / 9 3  
Jan 5, 2016   #3
Hi awe, here is some advice for your essay

..., but internet is perhaps(I would prefer the word "possibly") the most essential...
which has completely changed the way of people lives completely.
I would argue that this immerse invention certainly has caused the dire effects such as us increase crime
Usinginternet usage can support their activities

hope this would help
raditya 1 / 1 2  
Jan 6, 2016   #4
Hi awe_28, I have to agree with Ssakshijain. If I were you, I would compare people lifestyle before and after the internet invention because the prompt does not ask the positive and negative effect of internet invention. In addition, you could show your ability in grammar since you have to write in past tense and present tense to differ something that happened in the past and happened today.

Furthermore, you have written this essay in good structure and other people have given you some advice to make it better.
In my opinion, you can make this essay stronger by straightly pointing out the extent that has changed by the invention of internet and give more explanation about your idea before give an example.

Here are my suggestions:

Over thirty-year period, the most remarkable invention that has completely changed people's lifestyle is internet. It is known as a fact that internet can make human activities faster and easier to be done , yet it can caused an increment to crime rate and develop unhealthy lifestyle.

First, human activities ... since internet provides applications such as email, ... In the past, we had to ... For example, ...

Second, crime rate has grown higher because ...

Third, internet also brings unhealthy lifestyle for the user ... we were healthier since we used to ... before the internet invention.

To sum up, ...

I hope my opinion can help you :)