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Is it essential to pay too much cost for fashion?


hirani03 36 / 50 5  
Sep 2, 2016   #1
Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that human life is always related to lifestyle. As a result, they compete to be fashionable even if it cost much money. Others think it is not essential to purchase highly on it. I personally believe that we can continue our life without paying too much for the trendsetter and following it.

Some societies think that fashion reflect body statement. They value their self that becoming fashionable is important. That is the reason they are consenting to pay expensive items. Their style can be influenced by celebrity. They do not doubt the price then as far as they can be like their favorite figure. Others say high cost is acceptable because it is adequate with the quality. In my opinion, dealing with high cost of fashion item is not really notable.

The branded products of influence person, like celebrity or fashion designer, are sold more expensive than the similar product but not branded. It is not essential. One thing that must be considered is become a wise person in using money. The quality is important but not all quality products are sold in branded store. In addition, not for all new fashion items are suitable for everyone. So, when people want to follow the new trend, they must focus on the conformity of that appearance to their self.

All in all, fashion can influence to someone view, but it is better to think and aware about agreement to someone looks. It is because the fashion sometimes is made only for special community.

RezaAnandatama17 8 / 13 3  
Sep 3, 2016   #2
Some people decide to start ... Do the advantages for people working for ... ... I think this is not fit with your essay, whereas let me lend you a hand by focusing only in your writing ..

Some people think that human life is always related to lifestyle. As a result, they compete to be fashionable even if it cost much money. Others think it is not essential to purchase highly on it. I personally believe that we can continue our life without paying too much for the trendsetter andwith following it.

Some societies think that fashion reflect body statement(This is really suitable with you hook, meaning that putting such word into opening is smart decision).They( who do you mean by them) value their self that ...

That is the reason WHY they are consenting to ...
Their style can be influenced by [...] fashion item is not really notable.
(Please arrange it sufficiently by using this pattern which is topic+explanation+example+conclusion paragraph)

The branded products of influence person, [...] the conformity of that appearance to their self.
(The problem is similar with the previous one)

All in all (Using All in all is different with using in conclusion) , fashion can influence to ...
Jawa 11 / 17 1  
Sep 3, 2016   #3
The branded products of influence person....

let me try to give a little correction

The branded products of influenced person such as celebrities and public figures are sold more expensive than an unbranded similar one. it does not matter for some people especially the richest. a considerable decision should be wisely taken on allocating money. in my point of view, to look for a qualified product is not depending on the cost they sell.

hopefully this can help

Jawa
ilankelo21 36 / 41 22  
Sep 3, 2016   #4
Hi Hirani, I have to say an introduction you made here has a different meaning from what is conveyed in the prompt. Making a powerful introduction always becomes a big problem faced by those starting learning IELTS. Some of them write by giving a longer hook, which is frequently out of topic. Instead of doing that, going straight point and paraphrasing the question is better. Here I try to rewrite your introduction.

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

More inhabitants favor setting up their own business rather than landing an interesting job in a company. Even though the proponent of such idea will be free from any considerable pressures coming from several parties, the disadvantages of being risky to be bankrupt far outweigh any benefits.

Note: to make a strong introduction, the only steps you take is that you only need to understand the prompt well and rewrite it by your own word. It is then followed by a sentence stating your thesis statement clearly.

:D


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