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The estimated jeans sales of the two Turkish companies and their projected market share


AnhThi 1 / -  
Sep 17, 2021   #1

IELTS WRITING TASK I - SALES OF JEANS OF TWO COMPANIES



The bar chart indicates the estimated jeans sales of the two Turkish companies in the next year and their projected market share at the end of the same year.

Overall, there will be a general increase in the sale figures of Mango and Jack & Jones Company. Moreover, they are expected to be the leader in share market.

It is clear from the pie chart that 50% of total market is forecasted to be accounted by other companies. This figure will be at 30% for Jack& Jone and 20% for Mango company.

Beginning relatively high at more than 400 thousand of pairs in January, a significantly drop to approximately 250 thousands is predicted in the Jack & Jone sale figure in the following year. This figure will recover to 600 thousands in September and October before peaking at 800 in the period shown. In addition, the data on Mango Company is estimated to see a gradual growth in the first 4 months at approximately at around 150 thousands. A dramatic increase is predicted in July and August, overtaking the figure for Jack & Jone, followed by a minor increase to just 600 thousands at the end of period.

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate that!!!





Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,753 3795  
Sep 18, 2021   #2
The summary overview will recieve a failing score because it does not completely change the original presentation. It comes across as more of having been done in a cut and paste manner. This lack of paraphrasing skill shows a severly limited English vocabulary and could very well negatively affect the LR and GRA scores of the test taker.

When writing the report, the first sentence must indicate the figure being presented to help lead the reader towards a thorough understanding of the presentation. A complete analysis must be presented within 3-5 sentences. A 2 sentence presentation is not considered a complete paragraph format. It is always considered an under-developed analysis and explanation.
paleodietcorner 2 / 4 2  
Sep 19, 2021   #3
First of all, there are other patent information that u can outlined, including a small decrease at first in the bar chart. Also, they are not gonna be "the leader" if the sum of them are just 50%. You can say a "considerable"instead. So, the problem here is too few informations and lack of vocab.

Secondly, it is certain that you write too short for the first body. How about making comparisons, it would increase your writing's details.

For instance, I will rewrite it: COMPARING TWO INDUSTRIES, THE JACK AND JONES COMPANY IS ESTIMATED (A WORD U SHOULD USE) TO ACCOUNT FOR 30% OF THE PROJECTED MARKET POOL. LOWER THAN THAT, THE MANGO COMPANY WILL STAND AT ONE FIFTH OF THE SAME ASPECT. OTHER INDUSTRIES WILL CLAIM THE REST OF THE PROJECTED MARKET SHARE, WHICH IS A HALF OF THE PIE CHART. (I'm sorry to caps it but I typo and I just can't undo it, apologize!)

And despite the others claim a higher percentage, it is not the kind of information that u can start. I mean, the question is mainly about 2 companies, so the examiner looks for your description of them, instead of the dramatical but unimportant figure.

Thirdly, in the following year. (located at the initial sentence of body 2) seems confusing since the drop only takes part in the second month so it should be "in the following month"

Last and the most important, throughout two bodies, u didn't given any single comparison between two companies. This will leave a significant minus point in Task Response. I hope u can fix this next time.


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