I was given an assignment in English class yesterday. The activity described an event where there was a nuclear war that had decimated our planet. The only thing that was left was a small shelter with 12 people inside. However, there was only enough supplies to keep 7 alive and not 12. Therefore five had to be ejected. My teacher gave us a character list and I chose someone by the name of Ray Wilson. He is 60 years hold has an IQ of 127 has good health, 4 years in college, majored in business, and was a bank president and financial adviser for 20 years.
The following is my essay please, help me improve it thank you.
What took millenniums of blood and sweat was rinsed away in a matter of seconds. We dwell in a forlorn asylum, most likely the only survivors left in this barren wasteland. I haven't seen this world in such a catastrophic state, I didn't even think it was possible but it looked like an eternal damnation. Until we dispatch five people to discover the fiery depths of hell, our knowledge of what remains will never come to fruition. Despite my age I sincerely believe that I am an abominable contender for this expedition; my knowledge and wisdom has the capability to prolong our existence, my leadership skills will not allow us to waste any resources, and my ability to bond with others will permit us to see another day. I know my wrinkly skin and bones will soon disintegrate, but aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.
Ignorant people raise questions that have been answered by wise men years ago, that is why at times like this my knowledge and wisdom is extremely beneficial. Our lives have been preserved thus far, and I will, I promise, with my heart prevent humankind from reaching an extinct status. I look around this prehistoric shack and each and every soul here is revealing to me eyes that have lost hope. I can utilize myself in this environment through my communication skills, and provide beneficial advice seeing as how I was a financial adviser. I myself can guarantee our success. I myself can also bring faith to all the survivors.
Years in the business industry have augmented my leadership skills so that now not only am I able to influence others, but I can also help ration food. What seems like an abundance of resources can quickly diminish if not controlled properly. My administration will pave the way for equalization towards everyone. My administration will without a doubt control all the supplies and exploit them to their maximum potential. The time will slowly come when our supplies will have been exhausted and we will have to search for our own resources. With my authority and knowledge with trading I'll be able to locate resourceful areas quickly, and utilize my brainpower to motion our necessities back to our base. Let me help untangle ourselves from this dastard manifestation and assist the young ones to a future they deserve.
With age often comes wisdom. In all my experiences with communicating with others, I've prepared myself for situations like these. Every interaction between humans in this world requires a buildup of trust, without it we would have never have had a land of success. That is why we need this accumulation in order to help recreate this barren wasteland. We need to be able to depend on others. We need to be able to help others. We need to be able to trust others. I have built unbreakable bonds with my clients before, and I swear on my behalf that I can build this level of sophisticated trust with everyone here.
My knowledge and wisdom is something people would die for. In these decades that I have lived, I have experienced failures after failures and that is why I will unquestionably continue to achieve success till the day I die. I will shine here in this area full of potential and like the sun I will illuminate the paths to success. If I am compelled to leave this asylum prematurely, I will leave peacefully. However, nothing not even another cataclysmic event will stop me from fulfilling the duty of protecting anyone who possesses the right to survive peacefully.
I just have to say that as I, unknowingly dive into this essay, your very first sentence gripping and pulls the reader right in. Superb!
...With my authority and knowledge of trading I'll be able to locate resourceful areas quickly, and utilize my brainpower to maintain our necessities. Let me help us to untangle ourselves from this unfathomable set of circumstances and assist the young ones to a future they deserve..
This is excellent. I only made a few minor revisions, all in all I'd say you hit the assignment spot-on. Good job and good luck:)
