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Evaluation of claims that hosting international sports event is good for the country

nhitranthuy 1 / -  
Jan 20, 2022   #1

money spent on organizing worldwide sports festivals

It is true that there are some conflicting views about the benefit of organizing worldwide sports festivals. While some argue that holding on to sports events is advantageous for countries, I agree with those who believe that money spent on those kinds of events should be used for other purposes instead.

On the one hand, hosting international sports festivals can significantly develop the countries' economies. To explain, it is known that those events attract a huge amount of sports fans to attend, which means there will be a lot of visitors visiting the country for this reason. The more visitors come, the more beneficial that tourism and service industries are from those entertainment activities. For example, Korea witnessed a dramatic increase in its economy thanks to hosting the winter Olympic game in 2019

On the other hand, there is an underlying assumption that those worldwide sports events could turn out to be a challenge to developing and poverty countries because they have to spend a lot of money and effort on unnecessary factors. In other words, it would be an enormous waste if the host country just focus on inventing sports infrastructures and equipment but forgot other important demands such as hospitals, schools, etc. For instance, the idea of building a worldwide-standard stadium in Vietnam was cancelled after receiving too much hate and against opinions from citizens due to its huge cost and little applicability.

In conclusion, although being a host nation can have beneficial influences on the country's economy, I agree with the opinion that it is not a wise decision to spend too much money on those events but ignore other needs of the country.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,397 4385  
Jan 21, 2022   #2
It is true that there are some conflicting views

Avoid presenting your personal opinion right off the bat. It is important that you do not add any information, nor begin discussing the essay at this point since this is only the prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph. That means, you must be true to the prompt as it was provided. Deliver only your understanding of the 2 public opinions, then state which opinion you support and why, or if you have an alternate opinion, present that as the discussion thesis for the essay in this paragraph. Presenting your personal opinion topic will not be deemed as a discussion provided the presentation is no more than a sentence long. You only need 3 sentences in this presentation comprised of public opinion 1 and 2, and the personal opinion. In this case, you only presented one public opinion and then your personal opinion. The paragraph is incomplete and does not provide an accurate representation of the original topic.

Both opinion presentations cannot recieve passing scores as the general discussion presentation seems to come from the personal opinion of the writer. The GRA score, which considers the clarity of the presentation based on proper personal pronoun usage to show the 3rd person and first person discussion points are essential to this score.

There should also be a 3rd paragraph that fully explains the personal opinion of the writer. The conclusion will recieve a failing score for being the part where the writer presented his personal opinion. It is an incorrect format as the concluding paragraph should only be a summary of the previous discussion points. The essay fails on so many presentation and grammar levels at this point.

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