Hello,
could you please read my essay and give me some feedback?
the prompt is:
You will complete and submit an evaluation essay. Be sure that the evaluation criteria are clearly stated in your thesis.
thank you in advance.
Frederic
Criteria for selecting cocoa varieties: Food for thought
1735 is a watershed in the chocolate history. That year, the Swedish natural scientist Linné scientifically classified the Cocoa tree with the botanical Latin name "Theobroma cacao L.", namely "the food of gods" as the Swiss chocolate manufacturers association "Chocosuisse" observes. In those days, cocoa displayed an exceptional quality to deserve such an appellation. Indeed, chocolate presented an unquestionable interest through its intrinsic taste but also its appeals to imagination for exotic countries. However, nowadays, cocoa varieties may be evaluated on gustative, aesthetical, therapeutic, and economic perspectives. Since cocoa is widely utilized in the art of cooking, every potential consumer has prerequisite demands as regards its aroma. Moreover, the cosmetics industry increasingly incorporates cocoa in its products. In addition, medical experiments prove that cocoa has a valuable incidence on health. Finally, economic consequences of the cocoa international consumption influence economy all around the world.
The basic gustatory elements of appreciation for evaluating processed cocoa, named chocolate are the look, the odor, the taste and the aftertaste. Those criteria are significant because they activate a phenomenon of recognition from our previous experiences with chocolate. Barring allergic people, the great majority of Westerners has already enjoyed pleasurable instants with chocolate. Therefore, those decisive factors are powerful emotional mechanisms that provoke a desire for tasting chocolate. The most explicit evidence is a child who smells a chocolate aroma or catches a glimpse of a chocolate bar. His insistence with his mother to obtain the fruit of his desire is undeniable.
The beauty enhancement industry benefits from the cocoa applications in the human aesthetic improvement. The utilizations may be directly applied to skin care or to general attractiveness articles. For instance, several aesthetic institutes offer skin rejuvenation services such as facial masks or body creams . Furthermore, perfumers incorporate a flavor of chocolate so that a fragrance exhales an intense character. Consequently, cocoa varieties are selected depending on their biological actions on skin or the concentration of their aromas.
Medical research provides evidence that cocoa is a rich source of elements for health benefit. Indeed, clinical dietitians emphasize research findings on chocolate. Cocoa supplies essential minerals such as magnesium and phosphorus. They maintain and ameliorate brain cell performances. Moreover, cocoa furnishes powerful chemicals, such as antioxidants called phenols, which prevent the bad cholesterol from provoking plaque increase in the arteries and thus abate the risk of heart attacks. Consequently, the alleviating or invigorating therapeutic effects of cocoa are essential reasons for deciding on the merit to select specific varieties.
The cocoa beans trade and cocoa processing industry corollaries are linked to macroeconomic or microeconomic trends all around the world. Actually, the International cocoa organization declares that producing countries are undertaking reforms of cocoa production and commerce policies. Those nations meet the demand of Western consumers for products related to sustainable development and faire trade. Therefore, cocoa consumers may facilitate or impede national economies of cocoa producing countries through their requirements.
Factors such as savor, cosmetology, cure, and finance are means to evaluate and then select cocoa varieties. Whatever may be the initial cause for assessing the value of a cocoa variety, the overall impact remains economic. Indeed, the relation that binds the producer and the acquirer continue being the central point of an economic exchange. Therefore, the pleasure that pushes to apply a particular choice between various chocolate brands, the future prospect for increasing one's attractiveness or the expectation of potential benefits for medical treatments leads to exercise a tremendous force on future North-South economic relations. In the absolute, one could argue that a more socially aware consumer behavior in Western countries could finally allow those producing countries' populations to enjoy the gustative, aesthetical, therapeutic, and economic advantages that cocoa provides. However, will those socially aware criteria be sufficient? That furnishes food for thought.
Greetings!
You've written a very interesting essay about a subject that's near to my heart! ;-)) I have just a few suggestions for you.
1735 is a watershed in the chocolate history. - don't begin a sentence with a number. Either write it out in words, or say "The year 1735..."
The basic gustatory elements of appreciation for evaluating processed cocoa, named chocolate are the look...- better would be, "known as chocolate"
sustainable development and fair [no "e"] trade.
Therefore, the pleasure that pushes to apply a particular choice between various chocolate brands, the future prospect for increasing one's attractiveness or the expectation of potential benefits for medical treatments leads to exercise a tremendous force on future North-South economic relations. - The phrases in bold are not expressed quite the way one normally does in English. Better would be "causes one to make a particular choice" or "leads to a particular choice" for the first one; and, "creates a tremendous force..." for the second.
Good work!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
Hello Sarah
I would like to thank you for your commitment. I can easily imagine how difficult your task is. I would like to say, that thanks to your corrections, I am maintaining an overall score of 95% in my current English course, and I hope to obtain a final "A" grade.
Once more thanks for your cooperation.
Have a nice day.
Frederic
