Everyone would benefit from taking more exercise do you agree?
exercise help to people's health, people...
i tried to write a paragraph with introduction and conclusion please help me to correcting it thanks all
Hi Tina,
Would you mind me asking what this essay is for? Is there a prompt for this with more description? Once I understand what you are trying to accomplish, I can offer you some help. Thanks!
-Kayla
Here are some point for your essay.
Exercise is a systematic way of activation of your body parts. This will make your body parts or organs work faster including heart and lungs. In exercise ones heart start working faster and thereby supplies more blood to all parts of the body. This makes the body organs more active and keeps healthy. Perspiration is another useful activity that promote in exercises. Perspiration removes various substances produced as waste in different physiological activities in the body. And also exercise is a process that can removes excess energy from your body. This will help to keep your blood sugar level in optimum. Over and all exercise exercises help you to keep your body in shape and healthy.
Asoka
Hi Tina,
I have to agree with Kayla, in that you will have to tell us more about what you need or want with respect to your essay. Is that the entire prompt? In your paragraph that you wrote, I am having a little problem understanding what it is that you are trying to say.
Try to develop an outline that will help you identify the ideas that you want to write, and then post both the outline as well as a new paragraph that will best describe the prompt. Then, I think that we will be able to help you.
Thanks,
Mark
hi Kayla and mark
i have tofel class and my teacher asked to writhe a pra with introduction and conclusion so i need help to correct this
thank u all for your attention
Hi Tina-
I think it would be a little more helpful if you could tell us the exact directions our teacher gave you. Can you tell us word for word what the instructions are? Did she ask you "Write an essay about the benefits of exercise"? Your paragraph has a lot of things in it, and I want you to be able to answer the question asked of you, but I can't do that without knowing what your instructions were. Thanks!
Hi Tina,
Again, I would have to agree with Kayla here. You will need to tell us about the instructions you received from your instructor/teacher -- in order for us to ascertain what it is you need to be writing about. Please get back with us as soon as you can.
Mark
hi mark
this is my subject : Everyone would benefit from taking more exercise do you agree?
does anything wrong in my pra? i mean grammer or the arrangment?
Hi Tina,
First, I am assuming that when you write "pra," you really mean to write "para," which is short for paragraph. Am I correct?
Next, your question is written in the same way that you wrote your short paragraph. I think that your instructor is looking for more information "from you," in order to grade you on your ability to write in English. The paragraph that you initially wrote does not make any sense, whatsoever, and that is what Kayla and I are trying to tell you. Therefore, what I would do is the following: re-write your paragraph and then we can take a look at it. Don't just repeat your prompt. We need to see a paragraph with somewhat of a complete thought. If you don't understand what it is I am trying to tell you, let me know. We are here to help!
Mark
hi mark thank u for your attention to my essay i tried to re- write it
usually people try to do something that have a benefit for them such as doing exercise and it is questionable how exercise gives them benefit, it is amazing exercise help to people's health, it will help to body organ and step by step can reduce some bodily pain or disease cause from fatness. in addition to it will affect on people's spirit, they can forget their problem and have a free mind for awhile they are doing exercise so they become positive and more cheerful. I strongly suspect exercise is necessary for people. on the whole doing exercise have many benefits for people's body and spirit, it makes strong body with a good shape and decrease depression and brings happiness to people
Hi Tina!
OK, you have come a long way! Now, re-write the essay the way you want it to read and then post it on the forum. Let's see what you have at that point. We are here to help, Tina!
Mark
Hi Tina, we are lucky to have all of you who make great threads like these. I'm impressed by Mark's way of fixing your errors, too. I hope you'll practice each sentence 10 times. Type each sentence 10 times if you want to improve your grammar. I think you can learn fast! If you want to make another post with a correct version, based on Mark's corrections, please post a new draft below. :-)
Hi Tina,
I was waiting for Kevin to chime in with respect to your essay -- and he did -- as I suspected. He offered you some excellent advice -- specifically concerning how you can improve your grammar. Heed his advice.
Secondly, Tina, what are you going to do about an introduction and a summary? I seem to remember that you brought these two topics up in the beginning of your threads. Have you worked on them yet? Let's see what you have with respect to both of those, as well as your essay body. I will get back with you as soon as you post it.
Mark :)
