Does everyone see everything from the same perspective- SAT essay

Note:I wrote this essy in 25 mins according to the sat rules,so I revised it but did not correct the three spelling mistakes i found(she must KNOW),(TWO old men), (YOUNG girl).Plz rate it,the min score to give is 2,and the max score is 12.PLz RATE IT.

Topic:Does everyone see everything from the same perspective

Does everyone see everything from the same perspective? This question drove many people crazy? Today, after I made many researches, I finally found the that answer for that question. Which is no.

I found this question while reading the newspaper beside the café, and out of the blue, I found a mother and her teenage daughter arguing. It was about a dancing party during midnight. The mother refused to let her daughter to go, because she thought it is dangerous for a younge girl to be alone in a dancing part with strange boys at the middle of the night. While the daughter kept on begging , nagging, giving empty promises to abet her mother in chores, reminding her mother that she is the one who raised her, and she must now that could never do something wrong. It does not matter who convinced who in the end, my point is there was to people arguing because they had different perspective. As I kept on walking on the streets, I found to old men talking about war. If all people had the same perspective, then, there should not be war. Then, two married ladies passed by me, they were talking about how their marriage is on stake because they keep on fighting with their husbands for silly reasons. Which is another proof that people have different perspective.

People having different perspectives is not always a negative thing, because if all people think in the same way, we will end up working, dressing, and thinking in the same way. This would lead to a huge disaster. Because if all of us are farmers, then who will treat us if we become sick. And the opposite is also true!

Thanks for reading it.

Today, after I made many researches, I finally found the that answer to that question is no . You are being redundant.I
I found a mother and her teenage daughter arguing. It was about a dancing party during midnight.
I found a mother and her teenage daughter arguing about a dance party taking place at midnight.
Be mindful of your punctuation. although the sat is marked as a first draft, repeating the same errors would make the scorer think you do not know the words and this might cut off your marks. Always go through your essay after you are done writing it.

In all it is a great essay with a superb story line. Good Job!!!

Thanks for the comment

PLZ rate it min1 and max 6,plz dont just say it is good or bad,rate it plz

How can I rate it?! People often ask for a score, but what criteria should be used?


Don't start a sentence with "Which" unless it is a question. The way to write which is as part of the previous sentence:

I found the answer, which is "no."

Midnight is a particular time, so say at midnight instead of during.

This is a run on sentence:
Then, two married ladies passed by me, they were talking
Do this:
Then, two married ladies passed by me. They were talking
or this
Then, two married ladies passed by me, and they were talking

Well, so... because of the grammar errors here, I have to give it only 3 out of 6 (or 6 out of 12.) But I don't know what standards are used these days for the SAT.

Anyway, your homework is to Practice reading correctly written sentences aloud, slowly. That is the way to build good habits and score well on the writing part of the test. Let's see another essay! Maybe you can write one with no errors. It seems like you can. I think I have seen essays you have written with no errors.

People having different perspectives is not always a negative thing, because if all people think in the same way, we will end up working, dressing, and thinking in the same way.---- this is a good sentence.

i couls tell u the way on gradeing it if u have the time to read cause i am kind of nervous about the sat test

Score of 6
An essay in this category demonstrates clear and consistent mastery, although it may have a few minor errors. A typical essay:

Effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearly appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position

Is well organized and clearly focused, demonstrating clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas
Exhibits skillful use of language, using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary
Demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure
Is free of most errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
Score of 5
An essay in this category demonstrates reasonably consistent mastery, although it will have occasional errors or lapses in quality. A typical essay:

Effectively develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates strong critical thinking, generally using appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position

Is well organized and focused, demonstrating coherence and progression of ideas
Exhibits facility in the use of language, using appropriate vocabulary
Demonstrates variety in sentence structure
Is generally free of most errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
Score of 4
An essay in this category demonstrates adequate mastery, although it will have lapses in quality. A typical essay:

Develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates competent critical thinking, using adequate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position
Is generally organized and focused, demonstrating some coherence and progression of ideas
Exhibits adequate but inconsistent facility in the use of language, using generally appropriate vocabulary
Demonstrates some variety in sentence structure
Has some errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
Score of 3
An essay in this category demonstrates developing mastery, and is marked by one or more of the following weaknesses:

Develops a point of view on the issue, demonstrating some critical thinking, but may do so inconsistently or use inadequate examples, reasons, or other evidence to support its position

Is limited in its organization or focus, but may demonstrate some lapses in coherence or progression of ideas
Displays developing facility in the use of language, but sometimes uses weak vocabulary or inappropriate word choice
Lacks variety or demonstrates problems in sentence structure
Contains an accumulation of errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
Score of 2
An essay in this category demonstrates little mastery, and is flawed by one or more of the following weaknesses:

Develops a point of view on the issue that is vague or seriously limited, demonstrating weak critical thinking, providing inappropriate or insufficient examples, reasons, or other evidence to support its position

Is poorly organized and/or focused, or demonstrates serious problems with coherence or progression of ideas
Displays very little facility in the use of language, using very limited vocabulary or incorrect word choice
Demonstrates frequent problems in sentence structure
Contains errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics so serious that meaning is somewhat obscured
Score of 1
An essay in this category demonstrates very little or no mastery, and is severely flawed by one or more of the following weaknesses:

Develops no viable point of view on the issue, or provides little or no evidence to support its position
Is disorganized or unfocused, resulting in a disjointed or incoherent essay
Displays fundamental errors in vocabulary
Demonstrates severe flaws in sentence structure
Contains pervasive errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics that persistently interfere with meaning
Score of 0
Essays not written on the essay assignment will receive a score of 0.

Thanks for posting this! As I try to get a sense of it, I see that a score of 3 is what you get if your examples are poor and you have serious lapses. I see that a score of 6 can be granted even if you have a few errors. Thanks for sharing this with me and making me better at my job!

Okay... well I guess your essay might get a 4 by these standards. That is what I would give it if I was going by this description.

Here is what I think you should do:
When you get ready to write an essay of 500 words, think of 3 points you want to make. Write a sentence about one of them. Then write 3 more sentences to make it a full paragraph.

Do that for the next point. Write a sentence, then add sentences so that it becomes a paragraph.

Do that for the third point as well.

The important thing is to have a full paragraph about each idea. When you have a full paragraph about each idea, try to come up with a powerful sentence that tells the main idea that connects these three ideas. When you think of that sentence, write it at the end of an introduction paragraph.

If you want to score high, make each paragraph at least 4 sentences long.

Intro
Body #1
Body #2
Body #3
Conclusion

Each body paragraph begins with a topic sentence. Write your essay with 4-sentence paragraphs, and you will do well. Post another essay at EssayForum so we can find your grammar mistakes and correct them! :-)