Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Everything has two sides and Gasoline cars are not an exception.


waliedf 1 / -  
Feb 18, 2015   #1
Gasoline cars are still better than electricity cars.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


Everything has two sides and Gasoline cars are not an exception. In the last decade`s, it seemed like the most normal way of transportation people, but nowadays many people criticize it.

We must acknowledge that many people prefer gasoline cars than electricity cars, because it gives them a better chance to repair and maintain it. Using mechanics or using a little information, which they gain from friends or books or maybe internet resources. In addition, driving big gasoline cars make people feel fast and strong, which makes it hard for them to change it with electricity cars.

Nevertheless, many people believe that transportation should become cleaner and greener. There are many scientific researches proves how much electricity cars are going to help our environment. Applying these researches is what we really need, so we can grantee a clean air for us, for our children and for next generations. A good example of an electricity cars company, which producing fast big modern cars is Tesla. If People who admire sport cars proceed in replacing gasoline cars with one of Tesla cars, they will realize the truth about electricity cars.

Moreover, electricity cars expenses are less than gasoline cars, because of cheap electricity prices. In addition, electricity cars are easier in implying with technology equipments, so people enjoy driving and navigating easier. I completely disagree that gasoline cars remains useful than electricity cars.

To sum up, there are many evidences that electricity car more useful than gasoline one. Even I recommended that, governments should proceed with some laws, forcing people on replacing gasoline cars with electricity ones.

Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Feb 18, 2015   #2
Everything has two sides and Gasoline cars are not an exception. In the last decade`s, it seemed like the most normal way of transportation people, but nowadays many people criticize it.

1.This introduction does not contain your voice.
2. Some examples from you would definitely strengthen your arguments
tantadedanaan 6 / 11 11  
Feb 18, 2015   #3
Hi there!

1. When you write an introductory statement especially with this type of question, it is important to always present your stand. In your case as Vns9x mention, the introduction does not contain your side whether your 100 percent or 50 percent agreeing or disagreeing with the question.

2. There are also some grammatical errors that can be fix with just few editing.

3. You should also avoid using any contractions like for example this one "In the last decade`s", maybe it just a typo error. But as a piece of advice, do not use any words shortcut when writing an essay. It will make you write less word.

4. Do not use any personal pronouns except the word "I". Personal pronouns like "our, you, your, we, us" sounds like you also include the examiner in your opinion. What if your sides are not the same with what she/he knows, then you will get less points. Use other types of synonyms instead of personal pronouns like for example people, individuals, persons, others etc..

5. You should also not include your stand in any part of the body. The purpose of the essay's body is to present your arguments not your side. For example with this one, "Moreover, electricity cars expenses are less than gasoline cars, because of cheap electricity prices. In addition, electricity cars are easier in implying with technology equipments (equipment), so people enjoy driving and navigating easier. I completely disagree that gasoline cars remains useful than electricity cars.

6. Your conclusion should be the summary of your whole essay and to repeat again your stand. There should not have any arguments or recommendations because all of those must be tackled in the body part. Like for example here, "To sum up, there are many evidences that electricity car more useful than gasoline one. Even I recommended that, governments should proceed with some laws, forcing people on replacing gasoline cars with electricity ones."

7. Lastly, some examples can make your arguments more stronger. For example, "There are many scientific researches proves how much electricity cars are going to help our environment.", you can elaborate here what kind of researches that can prove that electricity cars are indeed very helpful to the environment.

Overall, your arguments are good. I hope that I help you somehow. Good luck :)


Home / Writing Feedback / Everything has two sides and Gasoline cars are not an exception.