The annoying and disgusting alarm clock has never neglected its duty at half past six, meanwhile mingle with the clanking and sizzling sound from the kitchen, implying the coming of a very new day. Monday, distinctly showing on the calender yet another school day. After having my daily routine with two slides of toasts and a glass of milk, I jumped to my rickety bicycle which had a twisted gear set and grotesquely distorted handle. My heart was throbbing wirh joy since first light as the air was crisp, clean and the sky was blue, the green grass wet with the early morning dew, and with the caressing breeze.
Rather unfortunately, an evil demon descend as the school was being enshrounded in an atmosphere of unprecedented despair where every living creatures was engraved with knitted brows, however, there was a conpicious multicellular organism walking straight and upright on the corridor, that guy was obviously the top student who never fail to be the first. Every student was being in their own position, silently, as the clock was ticking by at seven thirty while waiting anxiously for a stack of paper. The notes of tune played ny the footstep was faded in and eventually the teacher which many anticipating for appeared in the classroom (of course with that stack of paper). Everyone was sheivering with the 'inner' cold as the tigeress teacher show her merci with the smile.
The exam result for these years were still presant vividly in my mind... It was never brimmed sweet and unforgettable memories, but bitter one instead. I distinctly remember I was always the first (count from the back), and no one succeed in winning me since kindergarden, even once. Mements later, the punishment was swift, harsh and just, no body was going to majestically appear in the horizon and save me, and there is no way to avaid fram suffering the misery, sorrow, agony and excrutiating pain. This state of affairs continues and grew no better, accompany with my primary school and secondary school. Life was not easy, with rough and tumble stambling stones even hurdles by the discrimination and made me not happier, either.
Suddenly, waves after waves of applause swept across the classroom and penetrated, shaken my tought,everyone was smiling at me, wondering and envying how my result could improve so abruptly and dramatically, teacher do praise me. Perhaps the angle's wing were hovering over me and my solemn appeal to the God had been amused. My majestic, I belived from the bottom of my heart without any suspicious in your fairness to mankind! The everlasting grateful to my parents, teachers, students who give a hand in this access which connected to the paradise few could understand, with my tears smearing as the witness of my sincere.
"48 marks for english! Mom, I found the school report card in sister's school bag!" I was awaken by the high frequency shrieak of sister, and my frastrated mother was seen rushing towards me, with the rattan holding firmly in the hand and I understand what will be happen next... Only to discover it was only a dream to be the top student, however, at least, once, I was the top stdent! In the dream...
Here's a few suggestions:
... half past six, meanwhile mingling with the clanking and sizzling sound ...
It's Monday, distinctly showing on the calender as yet another school day. After having my daily routine with two slides (pieces?) of toasts (don't need the s) and a glass of milk, I jumped on to my rickety bicycle which had a twisted gear set and a grotesquely distorted handle. My heart was throbbing wit h joy since first light (...) with the caressing breeze. (This last sentence could be revised for better flow.)
... an evil demon descended as the school was being enshrounded in ... (Please breat up this long sentence) Every student was being in their own position (not sure what this means) , silently, as the clock ...
It was (had) never brimmed sweet and ...
Mo ments later, the punishment was swift, ...
Life was not easy, with rough and tumble stu mbling stones even hurdles ...
If you want your writing to really sizzle, use fewer adjectives and more expressive verbs. That will help you keep your word count stable, and also give you some interesting ways to express things.
