Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Evolution on people's quality of life through the making of foods

jaikrishna 5 / 8 1  
Feb 17, 2017   #1
Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?
Give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.

doing appetizing meals quickly

Evolution of humans ideology has improved the standards of living and food habits. Preparation of delicious cuisine has become an easy process to humans due to their enduring consequent efforts. Eventually, communities of every country have adopted to the food habits based on the available sources and enhance the ways to cook food briskly.

Recently, humans have invented enumerated tools like Gas, and Electric stoves, Microwave ovens, toasters and so forth. These are helpful to prepare delicious items in quick time. In addition, plenty of spices, ingredients are readily available over the market to use in the favourite dishes which adds the taste to it. On the other side, although you are not a chef, you have a plenty of guidance given via online videos through which you can easily learn food preparation. Alongside that, inherited food lessons learned from our elders and ancestors at home is the primary reason through which continued, easier and enhanced food habits attained.

Every country has adopted to their food habits based on their available sources. Our ancestors have done enough research on food habits to have delicious, rich in nutrients and proteins. Humans are always fascinated and curious to try divergent feasibility to attain better quality food which has resulted to the effective lifestyle to humans.

In conclusion, Human instincts and ideology has improved the standards of living and has become easier for the next generations to prepare food in easier ways.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,815 2617  
Feb 17, 2017   #2
Jaya, let's break down the problems with your essay. In terms of task accuracy, your score will only be a 3 because of a number of reasons.

1. Your paraphrases thesis statement is confusing and does not really reflect the prompt topic and instructions.
2. Your discussion does not answer the question; "Has this changed the way people live?"
3. There are no traces of vague references to the actual prompt.

Based upon these reasons, you failed to address the task because you did not understand what was required of you. Due to these problems, your cohesiveness and cohesion did not score higher than a 3 either. Needless to say, you also failed the lexical resource section because your errors changed the message of the prompt. While in terms of grammar range and accuracy, your grammar errors just had too much to do with the change in the message of the essay. Therefore, your final score for this essay can only be no higher than a 3 on this essay.
OP jaikrishna 5 / 8 1  
Feb 17, 2017   #3

Thanks Holt for the valuable feedback. You are mentioning about grammatical mistakes. Could you please elaborate few of them so that I ensure that it will not be repeated again
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,815 2617  
Feb 17, 2017   #4
For example, when you said "humans have invented enumerated tools...", you created a confusing sentence because the correct development would have been "humans invented tools". I know that you listed the equipment in the sentence but saying enumerated in the sentence means to "list". The clarity of the sentence, in terms of meaning was affected. It became confusing. Another example, "Evolution of humans ideology" is wrong. Saying "The evolution of human life" is more proper. What exactly did you mean by " enduring consequent efforts,,," ? Consequent means to "follow as a result or effect." The meaning of this sentence causes stress for the reader because the point of discussion became confusing. There are a number of other notable errors in the essay but I think these examples will be sufficient for now.

Home / Writing Feedback / Evolution on people's quality of life through the making of foods