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An example of my leadership TTU scholarship

Aubreythefruit 5 / 8 4  
Aug 26, 2015   #1
Prompt: Describe an example of your leadership. Be sure to describe your actions and the actions of those around you and to explain what you accomplished.

Throughout high school, I have led through multiple situations. I served as the president of the National Homeschool Honor Society, which involved organizing meetings community service projects. I taught a class of twenty preschoolers at my church for two years. Even simply hosting parties or Bible studies have involved a lot of planning and leadership. All of these opportunities have shown me that a good leader not only instructs people on what to do, but they also listen to the people they are leading. A good leader needs balanced amounts of passion, patience, confidence, and especially integrity.

The most influential leadership experience that I ever participated in was being on the Riverbend Retreat Camp Program Team. The Program Team was established to promote team spirit for kids at camp by leading music, team games, and team cheers. The Program Team goal was to inspire kids to pour their hearts into everything that they did. For the first couple of days, I lived and breathed team spirit. I was a green team leader; therefore, I was dressed in all green clothes, covered in green face paint, and I even wore a green tutu the size of a barrel. I shouted team chants whenever I had the chance, I slapped high-fives to the kids on my team, and I led the green team during Team Tournaments. During these tournaments, my team and another team would compete to prove which team was better.

I hadn't realized that I was in a position of leadership until I was cheering for a teammate participating in a Team Tournament and the kids surrounding me began cheering with me. Moments after I stopped cheering, so did the kids around me. Our rival teammate starting playing the game and I booed loudly and waved my hands around in objection. My team of campers booed in unison with me. When our teammate won the game, I started howling and clapping for them. Around me, 150 kids clapped and cheered and jumped up and down. As I walked around throughout the crowd, I started thinking about how the kids seemed to be doing what I was doing. Cheering our team's chant, "G-R-E-E-N! That's the team that's gonna win!" I watched the campers to see what would happen. A few kids started to join in, and after a few moments, most of the campers on my team were shouting along with me.

Leadership, as it were, isn't always a conscious quality. We can influence and persuade people unintentionally. This is why integrity is such a valuable characteristic. Someone is always watching what you're doing, whether you realize it or not. You can't always control who follows in your footsteps, but you can ensure that your footsteps are leading down the right path. I learned that by valuing morals, I can lead people effectively and directionally.

lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Aug 27, 2015   #2
1st paragraph: I think you should be more specific when you begin your essay. Here is a suggestion: "Throughout high school, I participated in many leadership activities."

I would like to suggest avoiding adding parties unless there is something specific that involved leadership. Ex: Coordinator of an event, etc. You could also state: "an equal amount" rather than balanced amounts.

2nd paragraph: The first sentence you could delete "ever". "Team and Tournaments should be in all lowercase letters. To simplify the last sentence you could state: "my team and an opposing team". This would indicate that there was some form of competition.

3rd paragraph: I think you team tournament should be in all lowercase letters. Also, I think you should avoid stating you booed the campers. The question says: "tell what you accomplished as a leader". Therefore, cheering is a better quality as a leader. Here is a correction for this sentence.

"They were cheering our team's chant: "G-R-E-E-N! That's the team that's going to win!"

I want to suggest having a 4th paragraph that begins with this sentence:
Therefore, I learned that leadership isn't always a conscious quality. I changed this sentence because it seems like this activity was a learning experience. I also thought this was a simpler sentence. You can add "you" after leading.

I learned that by valuing morals, I can lead people effectively and directionally. I want you to know that is a good sentence but it is confusing with the rest of the essay, so I would suggest deleting it.

Good work! I hope this helps you.

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