Excessive usage of cars - problems and solutions

The unlimited use of cars caused many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars?

the great number of vehicles on roads and its impact

It is undeniable that private cars has brought a great deal of travelling convenience. However, the widespread of car use has led to some serious environmental issues, causing detrimental effects on our health and life quality. Therefore, there is no doubt that car restriction is considered as an effective measure to control the problems.

First of all, cars are the primary cause for the air pollution which makes people vulnerable to many diseases. Exhausts emitting from automobiles contains a great number of harmful particles being stuck in our lungs and causing cancers. In addition, these substances are considered as a main reason for human gene modification, leading to fatal impact on the existence of the mankind.

Furthermore, the more private cars people use, the more pressure there is on the parking lots. Instead of saving land for botanic gardens or parks, more land is being used for parking areas. This to some extend has resulted in negative effects on our life quality. People do not have enough green places and fresh atmosphere which are vital elements to maintain their welfare.

In order to alleviate the problems, a restriction on car use definitely can be seen as an effective medium. For one thing, the use more eco-friendly means of transport will help reduce global warming emissions, leaving a cleaner and purer atmosphere. This can attribute to curbing diseases related to poor air quality. For another thing, more space designated for natural habitats will encourage people's participation in physical activities like cycling, walking or jogging. An active lifestyle will spread among the community and improve our living standards.

In conclusion, even though automobiles are thought to be an advantageous form of transport, their popularity is still causing hazardous environmental impacts on people's life physically and mentally. Therefore, with car reduction, we can completely expect a better life quality.

Hi @Thuy Linh,
This is a very good essay. Your idea makes sense and you have a wide range of vocabulary.
However, if you are going to an IELTS exam, I think your essay is quite long (307 words). I am worried that you may not have enough time to review it after you finish writing. I think it would be the best if it has 250-270 words. Also, there should be only 4 paragraphs, including an introduction, a supporting paragraph 1, a supporting paragraph 2 and a conclusion. Maybe you should consider to combine your second and third paragraph into one.

There are some minor grammar mistakes as below.
- private cars has brought -> private cars have brought
- primary cause for the air pollution -> primary cause of air pollution
- This to some extend -> This to some extent

Thuy, though there is no word limit on the Task 2 essay, I am wondering if the sheer length of this essay that you wrote was accomplished within the time frame. Writing more than 300 words is a feat, even for the most seasoned writer, when it has to be written under time pressure. That fact that you have to draft, review, and finalize the essay within a given time frame tells me that you probably did not use a timer in this instance. There is no way those 3 procedures could have been complete in the given time, based upon the length of this essay. So I am not sure if I should actually score this essay because it did not follow the mandatory requirements of a practice test. If I were to score this essay though, I would give it a 5 at the most due to the apprehensions that I mentioned earlier in this review. Your discussion is strong and well developed. The sentence requirements were met and you presented an informed discussion to the reader. Good work. Remember my concerns about your time use for your next practice test though.