Unanswered [11] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

(exchange program application) Successful youth ambassadors and their characteristics

EstellePhillips 1 / 1  
Jul 9, 2019   #1
w/n: i am applying for an AFS exchange program and this is one of the five essays required. Any constructive criticism or suggestions are appreciated! Thank you :D

Prompt: what are the characteristics of a youth ambassador need to be successful and how you demonstrated these characteristics.

To be a successful youth ambassador requires a set of qualities they possess: the ability to communicate, flexibility, open-mindedness, compassion, and goal-orientedness.

Considering that youth ambassadors aim to interact with young people in an inspiring and engaging way, the ability to communicate is vital. Gladly, I have learned and demonstrated effective communication through speaking clearly, listening actively, and paying attention to nonverbal cues.

Flexibility and open-mindedness are also essential because it helps us adapt to new cultural norms and collaborate with all kinds of people. I demonstrate these two qualities by reacting positively to foreign concepts even if it challenges my values and beliefs because not all people think or see things the same way as I do.

Another needed characteristic is compassion towards others and one's self. Practicing this virtue motivates us to take action for community development and fix global issues. My example of compassion is helping others and volunteering in community activities. You may know more in the fifth essay.

Last is being goal-oriented. Apparently, major goals such as "creating a just and peaceful world" can't be achieved overnight. How I work towards my goals is not a race. Rather, it's a marathon. I wouldn't be discouraged if the goal seemed to be far-reaching and difficult. I would just constantly achieve smaller tasks that up my progress even if it's slow.

(no conclusion yet because my brain is tired)

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Jul 10, 2019   #2
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll provide you with writing feedback.

I think that the entirety of your composition is well written. You had a bold introduction and were able to follow through with conventional writing standards. That being said, try to incorporate more of a straightforward and yet simplified approach to your writing to help you elevate the overall standard of your flow. Focus more on bettering the organization of thoughts by omitting lines that are unnecessary and focusing more on the depth of writing.

In your concluding remarks, try to emphasize more why these traits are important in the long-term through curating thoughts that have value. Expound why these traits are essential by showcasing how it would be like to function without them to make a comparative analysis.

Best of luck as always.

Home / Writing Feedback / (exchange program application) Successful youth ambassadors and their characteristics