What is it that excites me the most about a college.

Please help me with this Union College essay. Does it answer the question well?

What inspired you to apply to Union and what about our college most excites you? (150 word limit)

unique combination of engineering with liberal arts

In today's world, it seems impossible for us to live without electricity. Unfortunately, still millions of people in my country have never seen an electric bulb.

I dream to work among these underprivileged people for the accessibility of electricity through hydro-power. I want to be an engineer who can connect to the people, engage in their community and act to transform their lives. Thus, the wide range of interdisciplinary studies in the liberal arts and engineering that Union College offers is exactly what I require to fulfill my dream.

With its small student body, I can take full advantage of undergraduate research opportunities and work with the guidance of brilliant faculty. I look forward to present my new ideas at annual Steinmetz Symposium.

It is this unique combination of engineering with liberal arts and excellent research opportunities that excites me the most when I imagine studying at Union.

In today's world Nowadays, it seems impossible for us to ... Unfortunately, still millions of ...

... who can connect to the people, ... and act to transform ...

With its small student body, I can take full ...

For the italic words, I do not understand the meaning of the words. I hope it helps you. Goodluck

The academic goals that inspired your decision to apply to Union College are not spelled out in this essay. Your dreams have no place in the presentation if you cannot connect it specific laboratories, mentor programs, or course offerings at the university. I do not really sense any excitement in your essay when it comes to your learning expectations as a student at Union College. Your statement could actually be considered a general liberal arts reference which you can use to respond to the same prompt, just changing the name of the university. There is nothing that makes this response stand-out because you are not aiming to impress the reviewer with your professional ambitions as the university can help you achieve it.

If the inspiration for your choice of university is the lack of access to electricity in your country, then build your response around that. How does the idea of helping your countrymen gain access to electricity inspire your choice of university? Based on this personal goal, how do you see Union College inspiring you to achieve this task? The reference to the symposium is good, but underdeveloped. You need to mention that in reference to something specific that you hope to accomplish.

Don't use general references, that does not help you create an interesting paper. Go for specifics and try to write in a more active voice that engages the reviewer in an exciting conversation regarding the reasons you chose Union College.

Unfortunately, still millions of ...

I want to be become an engineer who can could connect to the people, engaged in their community ...
... what I am require required to for fulfill fulfil my dream.

... research the opportunities and ... I look forward to presenting my ...