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Exercise in ES; the number of hybrid vehicles sold over the 4-year timeframe from 2006 to 2009


alfinkurnia 33 / 47  
Nov 23, 2016   #1
Writing task 1 (Sorry I can't attach the picture because the question from book)

The graph ilustrates about the number of hybrid cars which sold over 4-years period from 2006 to 2009. Overall, the number of cars from Japan and other show upward trend. Whereas, cars from US increased extremely between 2006 and 2007, but after that gradual decrease until 2009.

As can be clearly seen, the highest sales of cars is 740.000 in 2009 and the smallest sales in 2006, only 360.000. cars from Japan was slight rose from aproximately 50.000 to 60.000 in 2007. Then. Increased again to 80.000 in 2008. Finally, grow up extremely in 2009 by 240.000.

The chart shows, the country whisch has the biggest total sales in 2009 was Japan, follow US in second place. Eventough, US has the highest sales between 2006 and 2008. Japan has increased extremely from 2008 to 2009, and became country which has the biggest grow up and commonly sales of hybrid cars from US and Japan.

Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 23, 2016   #2
Hi,below trough my advice, perhaps useful for you.
1. Whereas, cars from US increased extremely between 2006 and 2007, but after that gradual decrease until 2009. ---> you means the number of cars? or the vehicles global sales? . That is has different meaning dude.

2.cars from US increased extremely ---> improper usage
3.As can be clearly seen, the highest sales of cars is 740.000 in 2009 and the smallest sales in 2006, only 360.000 --->in my viewpoint, you should add where country has that trend

4.The graph ilustrates about the number of hybrid cars which sold over 4-years period from 2006 to 2009. ----> gives more specific types of graph (ex: bar chart,line chart, etc)
yurikeyuri 43 / 61 2  
Nov 23, 2016   #3
Hello, let me give my correction for you

The graph ilustratesillustrates

the upward trend

the highest sales of cars isare 740.000

from aproximatelyapproximately 50.000

the country whischwhich has

thank you
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Nov 23, 2016   #4
Hi Alfin, as you are unable to post the diagram, I will not be able to accurately conduct a level of accuracy on the information that you have provided in this analysis, however, I would like to modify your essay with the focus on your sentence construction.

- The graph ilustrates about the number of hybrid cars
- which sold over the 4-years period from 2006 to 2009.
- Overall, the number of cars from Japan and other- at this point, you cannot say "the other", simply because we have not established the structure of the analysis

- cars from the US increased extremely
- buthowever, there was aafter that gradual decrease until 2009.

- AsIt can be clearly seen,that the highest
- Japan wasexperienced a slight rose
- Finally, grow up extremely in 2009 byit rose to 240.000 by 2009 .

There you have it Alfin, as usual, I have left the last paragraph for you to practice your editing skills and I hope you follow though with the corrections made.
mardian24 46 / 75  
Nov 28, 2016   #5
Hi alfin, let me give some comments.

1. There are several errors in spelling
ilustrates ----> illustrates
aproximately ----> approximately
whisch ----> which
Eventough ----> Even tough

2. ... from Japan and other showshowed upward trend ...
The timeline is happen in the past, so you might use past tense.

3. ..., the highest sales of cars iswas 740.000 in 2009 ...
You tell about something happen in 2009, so you need to use 'was'

Thank you
Keep Writing


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