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Exercise for upcoming final exam: How to be a good manager?


Rosejoker 2 / 3  
Sep 28, 2009   #1
How to be a good manager?
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I'm a beginner in writing...I need your help.
...(I want to make it concise but I really don't know how)
Would you mind revising and giving a few feedback for this essay?
Thank in advance from the deepest of my heart
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For every kind of work to be successful, a competent manager is a need. In fact, if people work together with no one leading the way, argument will take place which will exactly lead to a failure. Because everyone has their own thought, thus the beginning of disputes so there should be one who can calm the tension and lead everyone to a success, manager. However, not everyone can be a good manager; in my opinion, the fine manager should be shrew in exploiting other people and in communicating.

For a manager to be a good leader, one should be astute in utilizing people. As everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages, the efficient manager must be able to recognize them and choose proper people for a suitable task. To make it clear, for an operator task which requires a garrulous person to work; the fine manager mustn't choose a taciturn person to do that job, and should be able to find a suitable job for the taciturn person as he/she might be extremely professional in some task.

Another thing a good manager must have is shrewdness in communicating. No one wants to do a job for people who talk bad to them. The effect of a manager talking bad isn't on his/her colleagues only, but also on outsiders. Because whenever a person is in his/her bad mood, he/she might accidentally trigger resentment of outsiders. In fact, when one is in bad mood, he/she doesn't seem to talk prudently.

In conclusion, not everyone can be a manager and not every manager can be a fine one; for one to be a good manager, one must be clever in both skills: choosing people for a suitable task and persuading people to do their work competently. Since such skills make people want to work from their heart which will lead into promising outcome.

EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 29, 2009   #2
in my opinion, the fine manager should be shrew in exploiting other people and in communicating.

Be careful with word choice. I'm guessing you mean "shrewd" rather than "shrew." I wonder if you really believe that good managers "exploit" other people, with has the connotation of unfairly extracting things from them.

On the whole, this is a reasonably competent IELTS/TOEFL essay. Your structure is strong, your arguments are fine, and your grammatical errors are not so glaring as to interfere with the reader's comprehension.


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