Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

IELTS 1 - The expenditure on consumed goods. The data was collected in France and the UK in 2010


Dason 1 / 1  
Nov 1, 2021   #1

Expenditure on Consumer Goods in 2010



The expenditure on consumed goods is demonstrated in the chart. The data was collected in France and the UK in 2010.

Overall, the spending on cars was in the UK was of greatest value among all statistics while the opposite was true for the expense in perfume in the UK.

The number of France in cars was 400 thousand pounds while that of the UK was 50 thousand higher. As a computer, the quantities of Franch and the UK stood at about 370 thousand and 350 thousand pounds respectively.

Meanwhile, the volume of cameras in France reached 150 thousand pounds, which was significantly lower than in the UK at 350 thousand pounds. In terms of books, the figure for the UK added up to dramatically over 400 million pounds in comparison with 300 million pounds for that France. As for perfume, the figure for France and UK were calculated at respectively 200 million and 140 million.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,000 3875  
Nov 3, 2021   #2
demonstrated in the chart

What type of chart? consider that this is a summary overview. As such, it must help the examiner create a mental picture of the summarized data. That means, the report must clearly identify the image type through the specific image title. The identification is not as accurate as it should be for the task. It will limit the scaring potential of this paragraph.

There is also no consumer goods list provided. That quick list is necessary leading into the trending statement.

the spending on cars was in the UK was of greatest value

The first cancellation is because the sentence does not require the use of a definite article. The second strike through is because of the wrong use of a verb. clearly the student needs to get better at using definite articles and verbs.

The essay has several other grammar will violations that will cause a failing GRA and overall score. Please work on your sentence writing skills and review your grammar lessons again. Specifically, in the areas pointed out here.
rosigenious 1 / 4  
Nov 5, 2021   #3
The number of car in France
the quantities of Franch and the UK stood => the quantity of cars in France and the UK
OP Dason 1 / 1  
Nov 6, 2021   #4
@Holt
thank you so much =((
Hossaina007 - / 2  
Nov 6, 2021   #5
@Dason
I think you should give more concentration in structuring your essay
aryabhaskara 3 / 5  
Nov 16, 2021   #6
@Dason

what the unit is used in the chart? Dollars or pounds?

the number of car sales in France was..

As of computer sales amount, ...

Many grammar mistakes to be corrected. But, you can do it!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS 1 - The expenditure on consumed goods. The data was collected in France and the UK in 2010