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Experiences will aid you in various ways, but are no more sufficient for this contemporary world


Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Jan 26, 2015   #1
Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.

how far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Qualification has always been a pivotal thing when it comes to having a good job with a proper salary. It is all about money after all in this world as far as I know. While it is a sheer a truth that experiences will aid you in various ways , notwithstanding they are not sufficient for this contemporary world any longer. This essay would discuss both these opinions in great detail and personal opinion simultaneously.

The majority of human beings these days have been attempting to pursue and obtain the best qualifications since most of the places require you to possess at least one qualification. It is still possible to have none of them, however the job which does not demand you to have one is usually quite a shoddy and disappointing one. In other words, the job requires no qualification usually Is a low-paid one. As a result it is indispensable to possess at least one qualification to daydream.

Alongside those aforementioned arguments, there is an abundance of individuals, who reckon that it would be better to gather or collect as many experiences as possible in the early stage to be adept at your future job. Part of this argument is correct, however if you do not study, you will not have enough knowledge to reach your dream job and without qualification, not many folks will even notice you because you need to be salient and there are already way too many lowbrows or who are in the scenario of living on this planet without qualification.

So, I completely concur with the community which affirms that qualification especially the university one is imperative to have since without it, you will not be able to be anywhere near a good job due to the knowledge that you must have and people's notion.

Please rate my essay! this is an IELTs one 9 points is the max point you can obtain from this task!
250 words are recommended by raters!

ieltsdotorg/pdf/Writing%20Band%20descriptors%20Task%202.pdf

Arachnid 3 / 14 6  
Jan 26, 2015   #2
It is all about money after all in this world as far as I know. - This line is awkward to read, perhaps reword it?

shoddy - maybe don't be so casual?

The majority of human beings these days have been attempting to pursue and obtain the best qualifications since most of the places require you to possess at least one qualification.It is still possible to have none of them, however the job which does not demand you to have one is usually quite a shoddy and disappointing one.In other words, the job requires no qualification usually Is a low-paid one . As a result it is indispensable to possess at least one qualification to daydream. - this paragraph repeats itself four times.

Part of this argument is correct, - where do you explain why this is the case?

however if you do not study, you will not have enough knowledge to reach your dream job and without qualification, not many folks will even notice you because you need to be salient and there are already way too many lowbrows or who are in the scenario of living on this planet without qualification. - you repeated the second paragraph again...

So, I completely concur with the community which affirms that qualification especially the university one is imperative to have since without it, you will not be able to be anywhere near a good job due to the knowledge that you must have and people's notion. - you basically stated the question and reasons why people believe in the statement, however you did not answer why you believe what you believe. You gave no evidence, try to have a story or example of why you think it is better for people to study rather than gain experience.

Also, avoid words that are not needed such as; too, so, very - words like these are unimportant and use up your word count.

Again, try to have an example why, perhaps you tried to gain experience and was rejected, or perhaps you gained more experience from work that better prepared you for life where studying has wasted your time. Make it relevant to yourself and the question, remember most essays are meant to be about you and your experiences, not just what you think.

Hope this helps!
swathi_12345 7 / 13 5  
Jan 26, 2015   #3
Based on my personal experience I would rate your essay somewhere around 7 - 8.


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