Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary

hello, everyone, i'm a new-comer. Please help me polish this IELTS essay. Thanks a lot!

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is widely recommended by some educationalists that the children should be taught a foreign language at a younger age. However, there are some pros and cops by doing this.

The supporters hold the opinion that the child is more prone to acquire skills of learning language as they are less self-conscious and self-discipline. The primary students are easier to shape than middle school students as they are learning their mother language and getting accustomed to the tongue and pronunciation. Moreover, they are not limited to the disciplines that are full of norms and dogmas. Also, more time and energy could be used for them to study non-native languages as they have more time than middle school students who should cope with a couple of subjects that are full of complexity.

On the contrary, opponents state that younger children would lose their interests in learning foreign languages with inappropriate teaching methods. Lack of professional training, the teachers at elementary school would have poor teaching skills which cause the learning obstacles for students. In addition, it may lead to the confusion when the children learn their mother language and foreign language at the same time as the different cultural and social background. Last but not least, the child prefers to play rather than to study at their younger age, and there are some other qualities and abilities, such as how to know the nature and how to communicate with their peers, that they should acquire rather than to accumulate more languages.

In conclusion, as far as I am concern, even though there are some benefits for the primary school students to learn foreign language, they should spend more time to improve their learning and communicating ability.

Hi Kay Jay,

1. This is a good writing, but it seems to me that your essay could be too short and may not be meeting the word count requirement for the task. Remember, your score may be reduced if you write less.

2. You need a strong 'thesis statement' in your introduction, and it should be answer the question.



The question asks you about 'advantages-disadvantages', but your thesis statement is 'pros-cons'. In my opinion, this is out of topic. So, make sure you understand the question then brainstorming and planning first before writing.

Hope this helps you to get a high score :)
Cheers!