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Explantory Essay: About Revenge


dark_danny 2 / 4  
Mar 16, 2008   #1
In Grade 12 U english, writing a 500 word essay on Revenge. I'm missing a conclusion, i dont think i'm doing they essay properly not sure, can anyone help? and tips for a conclusion.

Revenge: Justice or Sorrow

Revenge by definition means to get retribution for a wrong doing done to you. Everybody has felt and taken action on the emotion of revenge, whether it's on your sibling, friend, or enemy. Revenge can bring justice but as well bring pain to someone else. Vengeance is an extremely popular emotion in today's life whether it is terrorism or a dispute between family and friends. Revenge can be a horrible emotion; it can sometimes lead people to do horrible things.

There are acts of revenge that are just horrible, ones that would make someone squeamish. A husband and wife's story that would make most men think twice before messing with their wives. John Wayne Bobbitt had previously, the year before the incident, made his wife have an abortion, which caused her to be impregnable. On the night of June 23, 1993, John came home intoxicated one night after a night of partying to his wife, Lorena Leonor Bobbitt. She alleges that her husband raped her that night which added to what she was going to do next to her husband. Years of infidelity and spousal abuse also added to what she was going to do. Lorena got out of bed and went to the kitchen for a drink of water. While in the kitchen, she noticed a carving knife on the counter and memories of past abuse raced through Lorena's head. Grabbing the knife, Lorena entered the bedroom where John was asleep and proceeded to cut off almost half of his penis. After assaulting her husband, Lorena left the apartment, still clutching the severed penis. After driving a short while, she rolled down the car window and threw it out into a field. Realizing the severity of the incident, Lorena stopped and called 9-1-1. This is by far a disturbing way of getting revenge, all he did was rape her, routinely beat her, and cheat on her... Okay maybe he deserved it.

Revenge can, of course, be on a much larger, more dangerous scale. Terrorism is an example. Terrorism is an act of revenge between two parties that involve horrible acts which usually kill innocent people. Take for example a Palestinian terrorist organization will blow up a bus full of Israelis because of a military action that the Israeli army made. Terrorism has occurred in North America as well because of revenge. Perhaps most commonly known as 9/11, was the day many were exposed to the revenge of Al Qaeda, many innocent people were killed because Al Qaeda felt that the United States was an infidel in their country. You see when the United States helped Afghanistan drive the Russians out; they had left a government in charge, which supposedly attacked Al Qaeda and killed its citizens. All of this retaliation has led to a lot of deaths, 9/11 and the United States declaring war on Afghanistan. Revenge was the root of all these deaths.

Revenge can bring justice but as well bring pain to someone else, like the case of Lorena Bobbitt; she got back at her husband in the worst possible way by cutting off his willy. This may have reflected an "eye for an eye" form of justice. He had robbed her of her fertility; she robbed him of his. Then there's the other revenge, the one with terrorism. In terrorism many innocent get killed all because of revenge. This type does not bring justice but only pain and sorrow.

Revenge is to get retribution for a wrong doing done to you. Revenge can bring a closure to the person who feels they have been wrong'd but what happens after the revenge? Can't the other person take revenge as well. The cycle could continue, which just leads to pain and sorrow. You may look at revenge as justice but in the end all it brings is pain and sorrow.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Mar 17, 2008   #2
Greetings!

Actually, I laughed out loud at your last sentence...if you think your instructor would not mind a bit of dark humor, you might consider leaving that as your closing sentence. :-) If you think your instructor is looking for a less casual style, though, you might want to eliminate that part and go on to include a summary of your main points.

The part that, for me, does not seem to fit very well is the paragraph about your own personal experiences. It was a rather abrupt jump to go from talking about your experience with your friend to talking about 9/11. It might work better if your next paragraph began with a sentence something like "Revenge can, of course, be on a much larger, more dangerous scale. Terrorism is an example. Terrorism is an act of revenge between two parties that involve horrible acts which usually kill innocent people..." That way the transition is smoother.

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP dark_danny 2 / 4  
Mar 18, 2008   #3
Hi thanks for your help, i changed the essay around a bit, and was wondering what you thought of it. The conclusions seems weak to me, plz help me with that. Also does this look like an explantory essay to you?
EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Mar 19, 2008   #4
Greetings!

Normally, when I think of an explanatory essay, I think of a "how-to" type of essay: how to make fudge, how change the oil in your car, how to write an explanatory essay, etc. However, explanatory essays can also cover the reasons for something, e.g., why does revenge exist? Your essay does cover the "why" of revenge, so to that extent it is explanatory. I can't tell you for sure if this is what your instructor is looking for, however.

Here are some editing suggestions for what you have so far:

Perhaps most commonly known as 9/11 was the day many were exposed to the revenge of Al Qaeda. Many innocent people were killed because Al Qaeda felt that the United States was an infidel in their country.

Revenge is designed to get retribution for a wrongwhich has been done. Revenge can bring closure to the person who feels he has been wronged, but after the act of revenge the other person may take revenge as well.

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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