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IELTS: Exploitation of animals is bad!


moutaz1978 2 / 3 1  
Aug 21, 2013   #1
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic:
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
You should write at least 250 words.

While some people are of the opinion that animals must be exploited for the needs of humans being such as food, medical research, entertainment and education, others believe that it is important to treat animals in the same way humans are and have similar rights. This essay will discuss both points of view.

With regard to the exploitation of animals, many people think that it is acceptable for several reasons. First and foremost, they think that humans are the most important beings on the planet, and everything must be done to ensure human survival. Therefore, animals are being killed in laboratories as a part of experiment to find cures for diseases. In addition, animals are used for entertainment and education. For example, children can be educated about a wide range of species when they go to a good zoo. In term of this, they will gain great knowledge and background, and subsequently improve as persons.

However, I do not believe these arguments stand up for scrutiny. To begin, it has been shown on numerous occasions by secret filming in laboratories via animal rights groups that animals feel as much pain as humans do, and they suffer when they are kept in cages for long periods. Furthermore, a substantial amount of research is done for cosmetics, not to find cures for diseases, so this is unnecessary. Finally, it has also proven that humans can get all the nutrients and vitamins from green vegetable and fruit. Therefore, killing animals for food is not an adequate argument.

In conclusion, although some argue that killing animals for food and research is ethical, as far as I am concerned, this is not morally acceptable, and serious steps should be taken to improve the rights of animals.

fahadbd 25 / 56 5  
Aug 21, 2013   #2
it is important to treat animals in the same way as like humans and have similar rights

humans are the most important beingsspecies > humans are the best species on the planet
good writing
OP moutaz1978 2 / 3 1  
Aug 21, 2013   #3
Hi Fahadbd
Firstly thank you for comments.
Secondly, I do not think species is the right word here since it is means a set of animals or plants in which the members have similar characteristics to each other and can breed with each other. You may mean ''creature'' if you want to rephrase my sentence in another words.

Thank you
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Aug 21, 2013   #4
While some people are of the opinion that animals must be exploited for the needs of humans being such as food, medical research, entertainment and education, others believe that it is important to treat animals in the same way humans are and have similar rights.

... this does not have any grammar errors and it's written well. But I feel it is better if you began your intro with a good hook that bonds the reader to your essay. Something like;

All animals play an important role in the environment. ... then introduce the background of the issue.

This essay will discuss both points of view.

.... In my view, this sentence does not have much value.
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Aug 21, 2013   #5
animals must be exploited for the daily needs of humans beingssuch as food, medical research, entertainment and education ,

specifying these aspects on your introduction is not very significant, being more broad and general is enough

as far as I am concerned, this is not morally acceptable, and serious steps should be taken to improve the rights of animals.

I think you should further ellaborate your opinion as it is being asked in the prompt
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Sep 14, 2013   #6
While some people are of the opinion that animals must be exploited for the needs of humans being such as food, medical research, entertainment and education, others believe that it is important to treat animals in the same way humans are and have similar rights. This essay will discuss both points of view.

Well... this is the structure I generally recommend for the essay introduction for this task;
Hook - Write a sentence that can grab reader's attention and also has a direct relevance to your prompt. In this essay, I do not find a hook

Background of the Issue - Discuss the issue - You've done this with your first sentence
State your opinion - Conclude your introduction with stating your opinion. You can discuss both views in body paragraphs.


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