I really need your help, because I am going to take a IETS test within 5 days.
Topic: The exploration and development of safe alternative to fossile fuels sould be the most important global priority today. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Today the subject of global warming, as a result of high demands on fossil fuels, has become an imperative issue worldwide. For this, many people and governments think that replacing these types of fuels by clean energy resources must be viewed as the most important concern in the world. In my own opinion, this matter is undoubtedly one of the most crucial problems in these days since it can impact our lives in various facets which will be discussed in this essay.
To believe or not, oil resources are not permanent and will be finished sooner or latter. As a result, authorities should consider this fact as a warning for the future. If no replacing energy to be provided, people will encounter a disaster in the future. In this circumstance people cannot use any car, industries will hurt, and many other difficulties may be created. Therefore, new fuels can guarantee the needs of individuals for energy in the distant future.
The second significant fact is negative effects of fossil fuels on the environment. Increase in the green house gases (e.g., CO2 and CO) which derive from from these fuels not only jeopardize the health of individuals, but also it may change the weather conditions, rise up the sea levels- which can destroy many living areas- and in general it makes the world as an unlivable place.
Furthermore, creating renewable energy resources can be accompanied by many financial profits for countries. The use of solar cells for controlling sun's energy or the use of wind power for producing electricity are the ways that are dramatically cheaper than fossil fuels. Thus, if fossil fuels to be replaced the governments' expenditure will decline and they can save their countries' incomes for other purposes such as promotion of educational standards, eradication of poverty, and the like.
However, some people think that there are other important things in the world which must be considered as worldwide priority such as various wars in the world, and unhealable diseases like AIDS. I believe, though, these issues are important but not as much as the significance of producing new energy sources in basis of what was mentioned above.
To sum up, these days introducing new types of fuels and decreasing the use of fossil fuels has become a very important problem so that some believe that it ought to be considered as an imperative all around the world. In my perspective, this can affect the next generations' lives in various aspects, and if is done nothing, the life in the world will become impossible.
Your ideas are quite clear.
Yoy have some grammar mistakes;
For this →For this reason
by clean →By cleaning
derive → derives
has become→have become
Try your best!!
For this, many people and governments think that replacing these types of fuels with clean energy resources must be viewed as the most important concern in the world
In my own opinion, this matter is undoubtedly one of the most crucial problems in these days since it can impact our lives in various facets. which will be discussed in this essay .
So fast. I'm taking my IELTS on the 9th of June... Wish you luck.. :)
Though it seems i'm late to help, i think u should pay attention to the arrangement of your lots of paragrahs. Maybe it's too many.
Hi, Guo Jingchao, thanks for your attention to my essay, but I've gotten my test's results and they were really good (I got 7.5 in writing). Thanks again
That won't suprise me~you deserve it. You are a good writer.
Besides, do you think it possible if you let me know your msn or something like that? I'm going to have my test on 9th June. I would appreciate it much if you could help me in writing. please~
Finish---->run out
is it will be better?
Oh, Ahmad, and how much did you get overall in your IELTS exam?
and many other difficulties may be created
# passive voice ( many other difficulties may arise)
Your essay is really GREAT!
Keep up the good works!
( many other difficulties may arise)
Indeed, the use of "arise" in this context is better. Thank you so much for your suggestion.
