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IELTS; Exterior of buildings is more important than their functions.


valency 8 / 10  
Dec 3, 2012   #1
Some people think the exterior of buildings is more important than their functions. To what extent do you agree?

These days, as more high-rise buildings have been built. Whether a structure should focus on its exterior or interior has sparked a heated debate, with some individuals perceiving that external appearance is more important than internal function.Nevertheless, others hold an opposite view. From my perspective, it depends on the purpose of the structures.

There is no denying that for a magnificent building, the appearance is vital. The unique aesthetical value embodied by these structures is of the most significance. This architecture is the landmark or a symbol of city and represents the specific cultural ethos, which in turn attracts the tourists from all over the world and raises the sense of national pride for residents. Furthermore, having designed a fascinating masterpiece, which is considered to be a visual feast for artists. The prestige of the architect is likely to be boosted.

Nevertheless, it is a broadly acknowledged that in terms of residential buildings, by only having a gorgeous appearance but lack the practical value, is deemed to be meaningless. More importance should be attached to better the internal function and safety condition. This can be best illustrated by those multi-functional facilities with a high level of securities can cater the most of the needs of the potential purchasers.

In conclusion, the dominant purpose of an architecture is the function or exterior hinges on the type of structures. If it is a piece of art, then more emphasis should be laid on appearance. On the other hand, if the building serves as residential purpose, the interior function deserves due attention.

Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Dec 3, 2012   #2
I think your paper has great content and structure, continue working on your grammar. You have organized your ideas well. Let me offer you some suggestions:

These days, as more high-rise buildings have been built. Whether a structure should focus on its exterior or interior has sparked a heated debate, with some individuals perceiving that external appearance is more important than internal function.Nevertheless, others hold an opposite view.

Great job on your first paragraph. You could revise it a little, here is my idea: "High rise buildings have become very popular. There is a debate about whether a building's external appearance is more important than its internal function."

The unique aesthetic value embodied by these structures is of the most significance. extremely significant.

This architecture is the landmark or a symbol of city and represents the specific cultural ethos, which in turn attracts the tourists from all over the world and raises the sense of national pride for residents.

You may want to say it like this: "Beautiful buildings are often landmarks or symbols of a great city. They can represent national pride and culture, which attracts tourists from around the world."
OP valency 8 / 10  
Dec 3, 2012   #3
he unique aesthetic value embodied by these structures is of the most significance. extremely significant.

Hi jennyflower, I took your advice, it is really useful. i just don't quite understand why I cannot say it is of significance?

BTW, how about the rest of my paragraphs? Thank you again
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Dec 4, 2012   #4
I think this is a great essay. It has a natural flow to it and you have presented plenty of good facts. :)
Here are a few suggestions you might find useful.

There is no denying that for a magnificent building, the appearance is vital.

Appearance is the vital element for a magnificent building.

This architecture is the landmark or a symbol of city and represents the specific cultural ethos, which in turn attracts the tourists from all over the world and raises the sense of national pride for residents.

... This is an very important sentence. But i got the feeling that it was a little too long. Try to break it down to 2.

More importance should be attached to better the internal function and safety condition.

More importance should be given to the internal function and the safety aspect of the building.

your essay is very good. I hope my suggestions were of use. :)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Dec 4, 2012   #5
These days, as more high-rise buildings have been built. Whether a structure should focus on its exterior or interior has sparked a heated debate, with some individuals perceiving that external appearance is more important than internal function.Nevertheless, others hold an opposite view. From my perspective, it depends on the purpose of the structures.

Well done! Good Intro ; )

There is no denying that for a magnificent building, the external appearance is vital.

.... Include that word : ) It strengthens the link with your prompt!

This architecture is the landmark or a symbol of city and represents the specific cultural ethos, which in turn attracts the tourists from all over the world and raises the sense of national pride for residents.

Well... you need to improve a little bit in the body paras... Where's the specific example? .... This sentence should be supported by something like this;

For example, Sydney Opera House features all these facets and it is one of a kind structure that makes every Austrailan proud about it.
Pay attention to your examples : )
You write very well .... Why not join our community as a contributor? ; )
OP valency 8 / 10  
Dec 4, 2012   #6
dumi

Thank you for your contribution, Dumi.

I am trying to help others as well. In fact, my grammar and a lack of logic are my weaknesses.
Anyway, i am improved by your suggestions.

Adapt your way of TS +SS + Example


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