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The extinction of languages and how to prevent it - IELTS

Shirely Fu 3 / 6 1  
Jul 31, 2017   #1
write about the following topic:

"Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion"

protecting the variety of languages

Regarding the phenomenon that several languages die out in the past few years, some people consider life may become easy to handle. But for me, the disadvantages of death of several languages far overweight its advantages.

Obviously, languages come to resemble as a result of the steady progress of globalization, and language convergence benefit us a lot in many levels. At personal level, people does not need to master multiple languages any more, consequently easing their burden in time and money, which could be utilized to do something meaningful. In addition, at national level, keeping contact with other countries in economy and culture is increasingly easy, thus our country can give GDP a boost, and even increase the influence toward the international.

In my opinion, we need to put more emphasis on the extinction of some languages, playing an essential role in the development of human society. Firstly, there are popular literatures and drama, expressed in their specific language, whose implication cannot be expressed concisely by other language. Secondly, language has been beyond its definition, existing as one kind of cultural heritage for many years as well as the cumulation of life experience, which could not be replaced by other languages. Last but not the least, all people deeply love their language, and psychological trauma caused by the death of language is beyond our imagination.

In conclusion, every one counts in learning and protecting multiple languages, which can produce a far-reaching impact on us and our offspring.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,562 3753  
Jul 31, 2017   #2
Shirley, in the opening statement, you are requested to kindly paraphrase the original discussion topic and instructions from the original prompt. That serves as the part of the essay that proves your English comprehension skills. What you did in your essay was, you began an immediate, but unrelated discussion of the topic and instructions provided. What you wrote was a disadvantage/ disadvantage essay. You were being asked to write a single opinion essay based upon a degree of agreement / disagreement on the topic opinion presented. The correct format for the opening statement of this essay is:

As several languages become extinct over the passing years, there are some people who believe that the importance of these dead languages are of no importance. That is because with fewer languages in the world, life should become simpler. In this essay, I will discuss the degree of my disagreement with this statement based on several considerations.

Compare the way that I wrote the opening statement for your essay prompt against yours. Notice how key elements of the original essay are represented in my version which makes it totally different from yours? Those information are what created a more appropriate paraphrasing of the original prompt.

That unintentional mistake that you made in the paraphrasing was enough to change the whole slant of the essay. Causing you to discuss a totally unrelated topic from the original prompt requirements. Such an error in understanding the task requirements was costly for this essay. It forced me to score you a 1 because your answer is completely unrelated to the task originally assigned to you.
OP Shirely Fu 3 / 6 1  
Jul 31, 2017   #3
thank you very much, your advice is very useful for me, and i am a newer here and noticed that you have answered numerous questions, so i am wondering why? you just like doing this or it is your work? sorry to disturb you.
okorobiadimma14 6 / 82 50  
Jul 31, 2017   #4
Shirely, your essay shows that you did not spare at least 1 minute to understand what was required of you in the prompt. This understanding usually will help you to do a proper paraphrase which, in turn, would form the basis of the entire write-up. It is better, especially in the real test, to spend more or less a minute to understand the gist of the prompt before drafting your thought than hastily delving into the essay without having an understanding of what you were meant to do. At some point in your essay, you sounded as though you were trying to personify 'language'. The fact that you missed the track of the requirement of the essay from the very beginning is a costly error you must strive to deal with if you hope for a good score in the real test. Also, avoid the use of vocabularies that could create ambiguity in your write-up, especially those you are not quite familiar with. By the way, I must say that had you got a perfect understanding of the requirements of the prompt, based upon your level of sentence construction, you would have put up a good essay. I suggest that you engage in more practices while committing to mind all the guides availed to you herewith.

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