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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned.

naelendra 6 / 10 3  
Oct 31, 2016   #1
Publics more fascinating if they watching risky Sport . partly public gave opinion to band extreme sport because extreme sport have high risk .i disagree to belt risk sport.

Several community thing sky diving and skiing as interesting sport. they like challenge sport and they like risk sport. Sky diving is Famous sport and it make many people want try this sport. For the beginner they are many requirements that you must do. International organization Skydiving have many regulations and also procedure before athletes started and one of them is safety equipment. To start following the sport athletes must go through several training and preparation like another sport for the instance before you exercise you must warm pool so that nothing undesirable as an example of their muscle cramps. Sky Diving and skiing need equipment and also technology because this sport very risk.

However, I disagree With belt this sport , people have opinion that's sport have risk but if you run sport in accordance with the procedure, they can minimize fail. Sport if done according to the direction. Government can't prohibit this sport because they can decrease interest and achievement athletes. State they can monitor this sport with doing more attention.

In conclusion, it is clear to me government must give more attention and supervisor to make sure this sport run according procedure and regulation. each community has an opinion to determine what kind sport must prohibit and they sport type extreme.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Oct 31, 2016   #2
Hi Muhammad, below are my thoughts on your essay with the focus on the right words to incorporate in your sentences.

- Publics more fascinating ifThe public is fascinated when they are watching a risky Sport .
- partly public gave opinion to bandHowever, the public made a petition to ban extreme sports
- because as the name of the sports imply, extreme sports have a high risk .
- I disagree to belt risky sport.

- Several community thingpeople think that sky diving
- challenge of the sports and they
- likeare willing to take the risk sport .

There you have it Muhammad, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and for future writing reference, make sure to choose the right words that you include in your sentences as they affect the overall outcome, not only in the sentences but the overall outcome of the essay.

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