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"Eyes On the Road" - Writing task for Emotional and physical journey


alekahraiki 1 / -  
Jun 22, 2010   #1
Eyes On the Road
Aleka Hraiki


In one's lifetime, you come across hurdles and obstacles, problems that require solving, risks
that must be taken, decisions that must be faced and sacrifices that must be made. These are
the pivotal moments in our lives that help shape our destiny and ultimately mould us into the
person we become.

Like life itself, a road can take you in many directions, some are unexpected, un-intentional and
sometimes they are just temporary pathways leading to something bigger, better and brighter.
Whatever the decision that led us to be where we are, or however we found ourselves there at
that moment in time, i believe it is destiny guiding us down what is hopefully the 'right' road all
awhile keeping optimistic by providing us with some kind of promise of happiness that we will
ultimately find when the end of the road is reached and we finally arrive at our destination.

If this journey is taken for granted and not seen for what it could be, the road becomes hazy
and its essence is lost. All the small bits of vital imformation, the sounds, colours, pictures
and the emotions felt along the way could be lost. It can catch you off guard and that is why
you can never afford to simply be a spectator. It's entirely your decision whether you follow
that road and not find yourself stuck in a dead end street.

[story begins]
When i woke from a siesta one sunday afternoon, i realized i had been sweating quite a lot,
it was not nevessarily a hot day outside but rather the disturbing sleep that left me more tired
than before i lay down. I felt some what lost but suprisingly ok.
As i washed my face in the bathroom, i could hear the continuous buzzing, the same noise
that i would jump over dinner tables and through walls to get to, my mobile. This time i was
in no hurry to attend to it as i knew all too well who it was and why they were calling. As i
stumbled back to my room i played over and over in my mind the exuse i had rehearsed as to
why i was not at Hurstville, where we agreed to meet.

I had made a conscious decision earlier not to meet up with these 'friends' as i knew they were
up to no good just like ever other time and i also knew the expectations they withheld of me.
As my phone persistantly called out to me, i felt uneasy and scared but i knew i had to answer it.
Any other time i would easily be convinced to play along, but not today. Something seemed to click
and i could vividly see this was not the road in which i wanted to travel. For the first time iwas
honest with myself, mum was right.. She had been right all along. it was like i had awakened not
from a lazy sunday nap but frmo a deep coma i had been in for such a long time. i was not sure
what i wanted exactly but i certainly knew what i didint want.

the noise was relentless, it simply would not go away. just like my friends, always around and i
was always finding myself giving in to the pressures, never feeling extravagent about myself
before nor afterwards, it was almost as if i had committed a crime. i decided to bite the bullet
and answer the phone. 'Kuz, yallah where are ya? We've been waiting here for ages, you KNOW
what we planned for today so why arent you here? What are you, chicken sh*t?' the voice
startled me as it became clearer and clearer. 'Umm, cant make it today, sorry, mums not letting
me out.' i paused for a second and thought to myself, why cant i reveal the truth to these unappreciative monsters?

As my mind processed what was happening, i realized i could simply let them know how i felt
instead of hiding, it may deprive me of a friendship or two but in the long run, its about me.
I wanted something better for myself, something they could never even dream of in a million years.
Isuddenly gained this burst of energy, happiness and confidence. 'Sorry buddy, dont wait around
for me, i got stuff to do.' as i hung up the phone before they could even reply, i felt this amazing
adrenaline rush run straight through my veins, heating my cold blood. i felt great and before i had
even realized, i had done a complete U-turn out of the dead end street i was parked in for so long
and i was now cruising along a five lane highway.

I discovered that no matter what road you travel, at some point you will come across an
intersection at which a choice must be made. I believe the secret is not to live the moment,
but determine your actions by deciding what you believe will lead you to the greater good,
always stay honest with yourself, be your own worst critic and keep your eyes on the road.

Aleka Hraiki 2010.
cathyliu 19 / 54  
Jun 23, 2010   #2
be your own worststrictest critic and keep your eyes on the road.

I discovered that no matter whatwhich road you travel, at some point/sooner or later you will come across an intersection at whichwhere a choice must be made.

I discover that no matter which path you choose, you cannot avoid one intersection after another where a choice must be made.

your essay is excellent!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jun 24, 2010   #3
You can say in "your" or on "ones," but if you use ones you need "he or she"
In one's lifetime, she or he comes across hurdles and obstacles, problems that require solving, risks
that must be taken, decisions that...
This is the way to do it from the third person perspective.

Like life itself, a road can take you in many directions; some are unexpected, some are unintentional, and
some are just temporary pathways...

I think the expression is "all the while" and not "all a while"

This is a nice sentence:
I discovered that no matter what road you travel, at some point you will come across an
intersection at which a choice must be made. --- i think it is okay to use "you" in this paragraph, but usually it is better not to use the word "you" because it seems like preaching to the reader.

:-) this is great, full of wisdom. The mistakes are minor. Make sure to capitalize the first word of every sentence an check those typos.


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