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The facts about the improvement in Stokeford area over eighty year period


mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 21, 2016   #1
The map reveals the information about the improvement in Stokeford area by two periods. Overall, there was significant alteration with some facilities that had been built in this city.

Looking to the south area first, by 1930, there were many farmlands near by river Stoke and there was a big settlement with large gardens. It also could be seen that there were motor way which connected from south to the north part. However in 2010, the farmland had been replaced with the construction of accommodations which showed a significant improvement. Surprisingly, a large garden had been renovated by several houses and street.

Turning to the north area, by 1930, the post office and shop centers had been built in this village. It was also followed by primary school and several occupy which located in northern of the city. Surprisingly, in 2010, the shops did not exist anymore and replaced with residential area whereas post office remained unchanged. The elementary school was redeveloped to modernized building and several houses were developed as well.




nda18 46 / 81 9  
Nov 21, 2016   #2
hi mr edho, these are my thought towards your essay

The map revealsmaps reveal the information about ...
[ i think there are two maps given ]

... which connected from the south to the north part...

thank you
alfinkurnia 33 / 47  
Nov 21, 2016   #3
Hello I will give you my correction.

... improvement in Stokeford area during two periods. Overall, there was significant difference with some facilities ...

this is my tips for you
1. Please don't write too many words (at least 150 maximum 165) >>when you write more words it probably make your sentence wrong and reduce your score .

2. Use contractions and attention your speling
3. don't give opininan in task 1
4. Use the wrong tone (essays are always formal)

Thankyou


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