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IELTS: Is it fair that sportmen earn far more money than doctors and teachers?


kayo1996 2 / 3 1  
Jun 10, 2013   #1
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Answer:

Nowadays, while some people think that successful professional athletes are deserved to earn more money than people working in other careers like doctors or teachers, others think that it is unjustified. This essay will discuss both of these views.

People think that a higher earning for successful sportmen is fair for some reasons. First of all, they must devote themselves both physically and mentally in order to achieve an excellent result. Training is undoubtedly physical demanding and injuries are also likely to occur, some of which can be fatal. In addition, athletes may feel stressed as they are the representatives of their nations. Another reason for this view is that their high earnings will not last long. As time passes, they cannot stay permanently at the peak of their career, which means that their income will decrease gradually. Moreover, as they spend lots of time practising and coaching, they may fall behind their classmates in terms of academic subjects, which, in turn, results in difficulties in finding another job after they retire.

However, other people argue that it is not fair for who in other important occupations. Firstly, these jobs provide basic needs for people and help to improve the living standard, meaning that they are more essential than sport. In fact, hardly can people have a better life without education or healthcare but they can still live normally without watching sport as it is just a way of entertaining. Furthermore, people working in these fields also need to have intellectural abilities. They have to spend almost as much time as sportmen reading books in the library, doing the assignments and carrying out reseach. Besides, they must focus physically and psychologically to get a flying colours degree and become Masters or PhDs.

In conclusion, I think that sportmen and people like doctors or teachers should have the equal earnings.
LeeHyoRi89 1 / 2  
Jun 10, 2013   #2
Nowadays, while some people think that successful professional athletes are deserved to earn more money than people working in other careers(having other careers or working in other fields) like doctors or teachers, others think that it is unjustified. This essay will discuss both of these views.

People think that a higher earning for successful sportmen sportsmen is fair for some reasons. First of all, they must devote themselves both physically and mentally in order to achieve an excellent result. Training is undoubtedly physical demanding and injuries are also likely to occur, some of which can be fatal. In addition, athletes may feel stressed as they are the representatives of their nations. Another reason for this view is that their high earnings will not last long. As time passes, they cannot stay permanently at the peak of their career, which means that their income will decrease gradually. Moreover, as they spend lots of time practising practicing and coaching, they may fall behind their classmates in terms of academic subjects, which, in turn, results in difficulties in finding another job after they retire.

However, otherpeople it is argued that it is not fair for people working in other important occupations. Firstly, these jobs provide basic needs for people and help to improve improve the living standard, meaning that they are more essential than sport. In fact, hardly can people have a better life without education or healthcare but they can still live normally without watching sport as it is just a way of entertaining. Furthermore, people working in these fields also need to have intellectur al abilities. They have to spend almost as much time as sports men, for examples, reading books in the library, doing the assignments and carrying out resear ch. Besides, they must focus physically and psychologically to get a flying colours degree and become Masters or PhDs.

In conclusion, I think that sports men and people like doctors or teachers should have the equal earnings.
UrUltimateGuy - / 2  
Jun 10, 2013   #3
Well, to my idea about your writing is that you should have a better introduction (the one you wrote sounds too simple). And in the body, you should add extra examples.
Shumaila86 11 / 31 9  
Jun 11, 2013   #4
successful professional athletes are deserved to earn more money

sucessful professional athletes deserve to earn more money.

successful sportmen

sportsmen

physical demanding

demanding physically.

it is not fair for who in other important occupations.

it is not fair for those who are in

meaning that

which means they are

hardly can people have

people can hardy have a life

They have to spend almost as much time as sportmen reading books in the library,

as sportsmen do

to get a flying colours degree

to get a degree with flying colors.
SO you see... you have mistakes more of verbs and also go through grammar esp use of Comma.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 11, 2013   #5
First of all, they must devote themselves both physically and mentally in order to achieve an excellent result.

First of all, they need to commit themselves and make many sacrifices, both physically and emotionally, in order to reach the level of excellence.

. Training is undoubtedly physical demanding and injuries are also likely to occur, some of which can be fatal.

....Start this line with - "For example, " . Then it is clear to the reader that you are trying to justify your argument or the reason.

Another reason for this view is that their high earnings will not last long.

.... rather than saying " will not last long", say that they would remain only until they are fit to deliver the same level of performance;

Another reason for this view is that their high earnings will not remain when they are unable to maintain the same level of performance.
You write very well. Good luck!


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