Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion!
Some parents said that kindergarten is the best place to learn for children before entering school. While others think that family members are better for children to learn about anything. Even though teachers in pre-school age have experiences to face children with different personality, I believe that just family members have known about the best method for children to study as they have a close relationship.
It is generally believed that teachers in childcare centers are accustomed to teach children with dissimilar personality. It happens because teachers try to be professional in performance of their work and also they have a lot experiences to give good services for children. For instance, a current survey by England Commission for Children Rights found that 75% of parents are comfortable with services in kindergarten and they said that their children have a good development such as linguistic and personality in childcare centers. According to this survey, it is true that teachers in childcare centers are succeed to teach children.
However, close relationships with family members make them know about the best approach to teach children. It caused they know about the strength and weakness of the children, so they can use it to find the best way for teaching children. For example, in 2000 according to research by Melbourne University found that 69% relatives in Australian who do not entering their children to childcare centers have a positive result about the intelligence of their children. It caused by family members are educating children with their own ways and make it compatible with children personality. I believed this view is more acceptable as family members will be better for taking education of children.
To conclude, although pre-school age has good influences on children growth, I prefer to leave children in family members because they have known the best way for children to study as they have a good connection with them.
here is my suggestion for you
I think your conclusion is too short with one sentence, try to make it with two sentences
... pre-school age has a good influences on (...) in family members than in childcare center because they have ...
Hi mem, here is some suggestion for your writing
... try to be professional in
performanceperforming of their work and also they have a lot experiences to give good services for children well .
... in childcare centers are
succeedsuccessful to teach children.
... in Australian who do not enter
ing their children to childcare ...
It is caused by family members are ...
... to leave children in family members's hands because they ...
Here several suggestions for your writing.
Some parents said (...) for children before entering school. While others think that ...
You may just combine this two sentences become one, as the patter should be S + V + while + S + V.
... research conducted in Melbourne University....
In addition, in your conclusion it will be better if you also put your recommendation regarding this issue
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you
It happens because teachers
try tohave to be professional (...) their work and also . They have a lotmany experiences to give ...
... their children have a good
developmentimprovement such as linguistic ...
... the best approach to
teachtake care of children.
... to childcare centers have a
positive resultgood responsibility about the ...
I believed this
viewsituation, the grandparentsis more acceptable ...