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Family and society must regulate and manage children's computers usage to avoid negative impact.


hayaalqasem 9 / 17  
Aug 22, 2015   #1
Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children.(IELTS EXAM)


Nowadays, majority of children use computers for amusement. Some of people consider that as one way to enjoy their children while the other try to avert them the negative effects of long hours using of this machine. I partially agree with speaker's opinion because that depends on how the family manipulates this issue.

First, accessing computers is an efficient way to let our children amusing themselves instead of playing with rude friends or acquaintances in their neighborhood. For example, I live in rural place in Palestine where there are some of an impolite children that hurt and influence my children negatively. In addition, staying at home facilitates supervising those children by their parents. For example, as I am work woman when I returned home I do all household chores calmly and peacefully while my child playing computer games. Finally, the most important advantage that children gain from this machine is educating themselves by using divers office programs on computer such as word processing for printing , Exel for accounting and Internet to browse or surf different websites for searching. Thus this is an inevitable method to waste their leisure time.

On the other hand, spending long hours in front of computers leads to serious deterioration such as chronic diseases and psychological dilemmas. For example, lack of movement for long hours causes obesity, diabetes and eye illnesses. Moreover, it decreases the social contact among children and other people. In my experience, my daughter became reluctant and nervous in dealing with me. Parents must be more cautious about this issue.

In conclusion, I believe that using computers by children is two- faced sword. So family and society must regulate and mange using of computers to avoid any future adverse effects on them and to gain benefits and advantages that support our children in their education.

ChristineB - / 108 55  
Aug 23, 2015   #2
Here are my thoughts on your essay:

Nowadays, majority of children use computers for amusement.

Nowadays, the majority of children use computers for amusement.

Some of people consider that as one way to enjoy their children while the other try to avert them the negative effects of long hours using of this machine.

Some of people consider that as one waythem astools forto enjoy their children to use to to entertain themselves, while the other try to avert them theothers view themnegative effects of long hours using of this machinenegatively .

I partially agree with speaker's opinion because that depends on how the family manipulates this issue.

I partially agree with speaker'sstated opinion that too much computer time can be a bad thing. In my opinion, the effect the computer has on a childbecause that depends on how the family manipulatesaddresses this issue.

First, accessing computers is an efficient way to let our children amusing themselves instead of playing with rude friends or acquaintances in their neighborhood.

First, accessing computers is an efficient way to let ourIt is important to ensure that children use computers to have wholesome fun, rather thanamusing themselves instead of playingusing them to interact with rude friends or acquaintances in their neighborhoodpeople .

For example, I live in rural place in Palestine where there are some of an impolite children that hurt and influence my children negatively.

My own children began communicating with impolite children over the internet, and I saw firsthand how that experience negatively affected them.For example, I live in rural place in Palestine where there are some of an impolite children that hurt and influence my children negatively.

I hope that helps you some!
szhang25 15 / 21 8  
Aug 24, 2015   #3
In the introduction, you state that you agree with the speaker's opinion. This is generally not professional to say, rather it is better to just state the opinion as if it were your own. Additionally, stating it is better because not everyone knows what the speaker's opinion is. I also think that you could shed some more light on your reasons in your introduction, perhaps by just giving a brief statement telling the reader of your two reasons.

Your second paragraph seems to be a single reason paragraph from the first sentence. But then there are two more reasons for the positive effects of computers that follow. It would be clearer to the reader what you were trying to communicate if your first sentence elucidated that this paragraph was describing the positive effects of computers.

The next paragraph is similar; it would help to clarify that now you will present the negative aspects of computers. However, your two supporting paragraphs (positive and negative) do not really help your thesis statement, which is unclear as well.

Your conclusion should restate your thesis, and from reading it, I'm not entirely sure what your thesis is; it seems to contradict your opinion from the first paragraph.

I hope these ideas help you a little! Good luck (:
shintacandrade 10 / 74 87  
Aug 24, 2015   #4
Nowadays, majority of children use computers for amusement. Some of people consider that as one way to enjoy their children while the other try to avert them the negative effects of long hours using of this machine. I partially agree with speaker's opinion because that depends on how the family manipulates this issue.

This introduction needs a slight improvement. Here it is:
Computer plays a pivotal role in children's lives these days, and it brings a number of serious impacts. However, it seems rather excessive to say that dire consequences of using this machine in everyday life outweigh beneficial ones for kids. As such, I tend to disagree as the effects of computer in children will not always negative if they are under the proper supervision of their parents.


Then, the conclusion will be like this. I simply rephrase the introduction and add final thought on it:
In conclusion, it appears that spending day-to-day life in front of computer can be fairly useful for children, despite the possible risks. Therefore, it is imperative that parents and society should take the serious consequences into consideration.

Hope this little feedback helps you.


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