Hello everyone! I have another essay that I am counting on you to revise! Thanks in advance and the past for continuing helping me out! I have my TOEFL exam tomorrow so wish me luck!
I just hope they don't ask personal topics like this... I mean what does this topic really prove? Lolz, I really don't get it
Topic:Agree or disagree: Letting a friend make a mistake is better than taking action that risks destroying a friendship.
The famous adage 'No pain, no gain' is by far the most logical expression I have ever heard. We fall when we try to walk for the first time as toddlers but nevertheless, we always get up and try again continuously. Through this process, we learn how to maintain balance and if we fall again, we avoid the methods that will make us fall. Therefore, I would stand still for my friend to make a mistake because as mentioned before, I believe mistakes teaches better than anything and if I try to intervene, my relationship will be destroyed.
Mistakes are never the enemy. It should never be despised, let alone be ignored, when you live your life. We, as human beings, live our lives making mistakes and compensating for it constantly. We learn why studying is important after failing a test with shame and lament, not because our parents reprimand us irritably from the score. In effect, mistakes force us to face reality and give us another opportunity to take responsibility and perform much better the next time. When I was young, my younger sister had broken a luxurious vase our mother much adored when she was running around the house. She was afraid, dreading the ominous consequence that could result with a slight spank on her bottom, and asked me to take part of the blame so that her consequence will be more lenient. I disagreed not because I didn't want the consequences myself but because the image of my sister not owing up to her mistakes was shameful and disrespectful. I told her I cannot take the blame for her but I promised her that I will comfort her after her punishment. After the uproar of lectures about being careful in the house, my sister thanked me because she would have felt awful for letting me take the blame as well. As anyone can see, mistakes are not to be feared but helpful in creating a stronger self-conscious and respect. Thus, I would let my friend make a mistake without interfering but I would definitely comfort him just like I did to my sister.
On the other hand, if I try to intervene and prevent him from his blunder, not only will our friendship deter, but I will regret doing so. Personally, I treasure my friendship next to my family. Friendship is the bond that links two people as they go on their journey towards life. To lose that link, a trustful friend who will cover your back, will result a discord in my, anyone's life. As a result, I will stray from my path and turn bitter with regret and hatred at myself for destroying that relationship. This reminds me of a book I have read recently about two friends as doctors treating on a severely injured patient. The main character notices a flaw in his friends operation and points out his mistake in front of all the other surgeons. Abashed by his mistake, the friend leaves the hospital and never comes back due to shame and embarrassment. The main character regrets his decision because before he is a doctor, he was his friend and he has jeopardized that relationship. As a person who regards his relationships most precious, I would never risk the destruction of my friendship even if that leads to his shame because I'll be providing support to ameliorate his sadness.
To simplify, I would let a friend make his mistake instead of risking our relationship because I strongly think mistakes teaches the victim important lessons and because I treasure my relationship with my friends. If I were to stop him from making his mistake I would regret it forever until I die. (619)----> I did manage to write a 600 word essay in 30 minutes but I think it's because the topic was very personal so I think the words just flew off my mind. Still let me know if I digressed too much. Thanks again!
Your reference to the adage really does not connect with the essay prompt so it would be best to try to develop a different hook. Perhaps refer to an anecdote from your personal experience about a friendship that was placed in peril because you chose to keep your silence when a friend was was about to or had made a mistake. Then offer your opinion on the matter. You need to present a clear agreement of disagreement on the matter. Prior to presenting your reasons for supporting a side.
The example that you used, your sister having made a mistake already, is different from allowing or letting a friend make a mistake. In the instance of your friend, you know that she is about to make a mistake and you have the opportunity to prevent it from happening. Don't confuse the two scenarios. Do not make assumptions as a matter of fact because nobody can truly predict how an intervention will be received by the other party. It may or may not end your friendship. Don't bat for the worst case scenario immediately. That may not be the case for you.
Now, you claim that you would rather allow your friend to make a mistake rather than preventing the mistake from happening. What if you stood by and allowed the mistake to happen and, worst case scenario, your friend dies in the process? Was it truly worth keeping silent about your friend's actions?
Not to say that your answer is wrong but, I believe that you rushed the writing of your paper. You failed to give ample time, say at least 5 minutes to the analysis and consideration of the topic being discussed. Don't always think of writing everything on a personal level. You don't have to constantly place yourself out on a limb to answer a prompt. Just consider the logical and common known information for the topics before you write.
With regards to your concern, no, TOEFL tests will not always ask personal questions, it will ask about current events and pop culture. Maybe some history, but very rarely will it ask you a personal question, if at all.
Hmmm you may be right vangiespen.. I was precipitous and only imagined the worse case scenario. But in the example of my sister, I was mainly talking about how the consequences of the mistake effects them positively, not the mistake itself. It is deviating from the topic, I agree, but is it really out of place? Thanks for the other tips
Hello Ahmad, thanks for wishing me luck! I guess I sped up and used a rushed hook that isn't really relevant to the topic... I should be aware to take my time tomorrow. Thanks
Yes, it is not only a deviation from the topic but it is also out of place. Your relationship with your sibling cannot be compared to the relationship you have with friends because of the blood relation. That means regardless of the problems you have with your siblings and the mistakes that they make which you may stand by and watch or choose to prevent, the fact that you are related by blood as siblings will cause your relationship to never change or, even if it is altered, it cannot be altered the way that a friendship can be altered. Think about it, a sibling is a relative for life while a friend can be discarded and replaced once it becomes inconvenient or illogical to continue the friendship with that person. So a sibling example is really not a solid example to use in this case.
Good luck with your exam. I know you can pass it. Have the confidence to know that you are well prepared and are able to do your very best during the exam. I hope you can let us know how it went for you :-)
