Task 2 IELTS famous brand purchase tendency

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

the "brand effect"

In recent years, there has been a discernibly growing tendency to purchase products of well-known brands around the world. This essay will help shed a light on the reasons behind this phenomenon and draw a personal conclusion about whether it is a good or bad one.

There are two underlying explanations for mass need of famous brand items. The first reason is due to the extravagant public advertising of these brands. By virtue of having a stable economic foundation, these companies are able to direct large expenditure on hiring celebrities, television commercials, ... which may stimulate herd mentality and snob effects. By way of illustration, a product which turns out to be utilized by an idol would soon be sold out owing to excessive purchases from his fans. Furthermore, modern generations by nature always thrive for recognition. They tend to believe that possessing these products could make them fashionable and popular amongst their peers.

Although people hold various viewpoints about this phenomenon, I am of the opinion that this is a bad trend. Affording these renowned brand products often requires an enormous expenditure. This means that people are encouraged to squander their money which should be spent on more important circumstances. Moreover, from a perspective of economics, this trend also deprives infant start-ups of the chance to gain popularity.

In conclusion, more and more renowned brand purchases results from excessive advertising of the company and mass desire for recognition. In light of aforementioned points, it is my firm belief that this is a bad phenomenon which has repercussions for not only each individual but also the whole economy.

First up, excellent discussion work in this essay. You provided a very good discussion restatement and you properly outlined the presentation as well. However, you created a run-on sentence in your final presentation in that paragraph. Always adhere to the 3 sentence ruling in the introduction and conclusion restatements. Every sentence gains more clarity when presenting only one topic within its presentation.

Grammatically, the essay does have several sentence structure problems. The method by which you expressed yourself still remained understandable in the presentation regardless of the mistake in sentence structure and word choice. Brush up on your vocabulary and do more sentence development exercises to gain more proficiency in these areas. Exercises are available online and through apps. By the way, academic essays always avoid using ellipses (...) in its presentations. Those are normally used in creative writing to depict serious thought or additional information not indicated on the page. Do not use it to connect one sentence to another.

Additionally, each paragraph needs to depicts only up to 2 related topics in the presentation. These are connected, not using ellipses, but by using an explanatory transition sentence in the middle of the paragraph. The transition sentence should clearly explain the transfer of ideas from one to the next. All of these should be completed within a maximum of 5 sentences. Writing more will not assure you of a higher score. Writing 5 sentences will, in the end, allow you to have some extra time to refine your essay. The refinement will offer you a better chance to improve your presentation and improve your score as opposed to you just writing more without double checking the presentation for vocabulary, clarity, and grammar issues.

You should be happy with the work you did here. Regardless of the problems with the presentation, I strongly believe, based on the scoring criteria and considerations, that you would get a 6 with this type of presentation.

@Holt
Thank you so much for your feedbacks. I'll try my best to improve <3