Some famous people are considered as role models, and they are having an increasing influence

With the dissemination of social media and the internet, public figures nowadays are recognized as role models along with their powerful influence on young generations. Despite its drawbacks, I believe this trend generally have a positive influence.
On the one hand, famous people leverage their fame to spread meaningful messages to others. If their idols possess valuable traits such as perseverance, diligence, and integrity, young people are likely to adopt these qualities in their real life. For example, Khanh Vy who has been recognized as the role model for young generations in Vietnam due to her continuous efforts in her learning progress and career path has inspired many people on their journeys of learning foreign languages. Furthermore, well-known individuals can use their influence to raise awareness of the society about social issues such as serious environmental problems, equal people's rights, and racial discrimination. By voicing their own opinions and calling for support, notable figures have significant influence on their fans, therefore, they can co-operate to take immediate actions.
However, if people over-idolize famous people, it also comes with some notable drawbacks. Over-idolization leads to disappointment if their role models do not live up to their expectations, especially when they are caught up in scandals or dramas. Additionally, it leads to the lack of self-identity when people try to replicate other versions of their idols instead of developing their self in a unique way. In fact, there are some cases when people make efforts to imitate their idols when they overly idolize them.
In conclusion, I believe the trend of having role models to strive for has more advantages rather than disadvantages. Not only do they encourage people to develop valuable characteristics but they also push others to participate in social events. However, they might face the difficulties of possible disappointment and loss of their personal identity.

While you fulfilled the TA discussion requirements and properly provided a personal opinion based upon the writing instructions, I cannot say that this essay will receive a passing score because it failed to create a connected discussion presentation from one reason to the next. There was a disconnection between the positive trait that you discussed and the negative trait presentation because the topics covered in the individual paragraphs were not the same. This created a disconnection in the presentation and failed to create a cohesive and coherent discussion plot.

The more appropriate way of discussing this type of prompt would be to use the comparison discussion format. That would mean that:

Sentence 1 indicates the negative drawback. The 2nd sentence explains why this is seen as a negative then the 3rd sentence offers and example of this. The 4th sentence in the paragraph will present your positive point of view and then offer an example to support it. By using this discussion format a more connected and cohesive discussion presentation per opinion paragraph will be presented.

While the current format may receive a passing score, it will not be as high as when the compare and contrast discussion presentation, which is the expected discussion format, is used to discuss the prompt.