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Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or not?


ngannguyenftu 1 / 1  
Oct 25, 2018   #1

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media?


Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private lives?

Celebrities' privacy has long been a scorchingly debated issue in the public, and a majority of them feel that their personal life is being too much exposed and invaded by the media. From my viewpoint, though it may be unfair, being in the public eye is an inevitable part of the lifestyle they sign up for.

First of all, it is unfair for the social media to penetrate deeply into well-known individuals' private lives. Specifically, with the increasing popularity of internet users, the press nowadays dominates various types of social network such as e-newspaper, TV, or Facebook. For example, a news about a celebrity's private love affair can go viral within seconds and attract more attention than any news of their temporary masterpiece. However, public figures want the public to pay more attention to their social life, current workpieces or the prestigious awards in the field they have been working at. They are ordinary people in terms of private life, and they have the basic human right to keep it as a secret as anyone else. Therefore, being exposed to public criticism for their personal affairs seems to be inappropriate and offensive. Moreover, rising to stardom means a celeb has to undergo enormous mental stress as they always have to be alert of paparazzis or stalkers, who are eager to find an opportunity to damage their public image and push them into hardship . Just a moment of carelessness can make their entire career vanish completely.

However, I agree that living in a celebrity world has its price, which is a loss of privacy. Firstly, famous people are presented with a valuable gift of society's love, respect and attention, which decent people never have a chance to receive. The line between being focused on and being invaded is often murky, and sometimes their private life exposure by the media is something unavoidable. Secondly, it is celebrity's responsibility to maintain their image in front of the public, so leading an exemplary and innocent life is a way of responding love towards their fans and supporters. Therefore, compared to all the fame, love and materials celebrities achieve, having their personal lives exposed to the public can be considered a trivial downside.

All in all, I believe that even though people with fame may be annoyed by the media revelation of their private affairs, it is no doubt a trade-off for being popular.

vania 7 / 12 2  
Oct 26, 2018   #2
I think you already written a good essay.
you already paraphrasing the questions nicely and state your opinion.
In the second and the third paragraph you also already stated an example and supporting statement.
And you conclude your opinion nicely in the last paragraph.

Maybe the last paragraph could be better if you add up more explanation about that concusion.
Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Oct 26, 2018   #3
Wow! 404 words! You certainly developed a very long essay here and I do not mean that in a good way. You only have a limited amount of time to complete this essay and believe me, you won't have time to write all of these words in an actual test. Mostly because, if you follow the proper writing format, you will be writing at least 250 words, but no more than 300 words due to time constraints, editing requirements, and other polishing considerations. I think you are reviewing on your own which is why you over wrote the essay. So let's focus on the formatting for now.

You got the 4 paragraph format correct for this essay discussion. However, you should be informed that there is a 5 sentence maximum sentence requirement for the essay paragraphs. That's no less than 3 and no more than 5. That should be a coherent paragraph that closes with a transition sentence into the next reasoning paragraph but for the last paragraph of the essay, it should be a summary conclusion which covers a recap of the given reasoning paragraphs and topic paraphrase.

I will commend you on your creative paraphrase of the opening statement. Even though it lacks the required 3-5 sentence presentation, it is clear that you understood the topic for discussion and have the ability to restate the discussion without using any memorized phrases, words, or sentences. You delivered a very good discussion of this topic. If you had only stayed within limits, and written a more manageable number of words, this would have been a very high scoring essay. Something I look forward to reading from you next time.
OP ngannguyenftu 1 / 1  
Oct 26, 2018   #4
thank you for your valuable feedback. you really inspire me to write more. thank you so much for your constructive comments


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