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Famous sports athletes should earn a lot of money


renzito 3 / 4  
Sep 30, 2019   #1

salary of the sports stars



Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and given your own opinion.

It is generally accepted that sports professionals receive a high annual income compared to other professionals. This may be due to the fact that athletes are constantly under higher pressure from both media and sports fans. They have to accomplishment success throughout their entire career. In my opinion, athletes should be well-paid because their or talent and efforts are justified. In this essay, I will explain this thought.

In the world today, the most popular sport is soccer where we can see sportsman sign advantageous contracts. This is because athletes are considered role model to society and individuals, they must follow certain behavioural parameters and disciplines all of the time. For instance, Christiano Ronaldo rarely attends social events with friends and his behaviour should be adequate and appropriate and his wages reflect this. Therefore persons involved in the sports industry have to maintain discipline and be under constantly training to increase his performance and talent.

On the other hand, doctors, engineers or accounters earn salary according to their qualifications, experience and labour market. They can socialize with friends and have a normal life without the pressure from fans and media throughout their career's lives. As a consequence, the remuneration from these professionals are recognised by society and individuals

To conclude from the examples and arguments given I firmly agree that athletes should earn large amount of money in accordance with their skills and efforts whereas other professions don't need high pressure from the media and fans, as a result, their wages are imposed by the labour market, experience and qualifications.

Maria [Contributor] - / 1,036 371  
Sep 30, 2019   #2
@renzito
Hey, welcome once again. I'm here to provide you with feedback on this essay. I hope this somehow helps you.

First and foremost, the introductory paragraph is excellent. Aside from the last sentence, I would retain the other portions as is, considering that there's nothing inherently wrong with the way that you uttered.

What I would mostly suggest is that, considering the latter portions of the essay, I heavily recommend that you to avoid having superficial observations for the key actors in your content. For instance, if we take a look at your third paragraph, the correlation between the second and the third sentence appeared to be unclear. Considering that you were unable to explain how exactly these remuneration is calculated. The more specific you are, the better.

Try to also be cautious with how you transition your sentences. Taking a look at the concluding paragraph, this would certainly help you.


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