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Ielts 'fast food is becoming more and more popular even though it's junk'


milamiyamiila 2 / 2  
Dec 14, 2011   #1
lease can you check my composition. thanks everybody

In recent years, fast food is becoming more and more popular although many medical tests prove that it can harm our health greatly. Many scientist through mass media encourage people to abstain from fast food as it contains fats which can cause cancer, obesity and other serious diseases. It is claimed that fast food even can cause an addiction especially if a person is getting used to it since childhood.

In my opinion, firstly, people prefer eating in a fast food restaurants because the food there is very delicious. Companies providing fast food add different condiments to their product to improve taste and which are even created in special laboratories supported by them and cannot be bought in usual markets.

Secondly, you do not need to spend time on cooking. Many people have to work long hours and after arduous working days they are too exhausted to cook or sometimes it may happen that you are simply in a bad mood for cooking.

Thirdly, fast food is much cheaper than restaurants and you do not have to wait for a waiter to serve you and to pay tips. Moreover, the environment in fast food restaurants more friendly and relaxed and many entertainments are created for children who become additive to fast food and in the future it will take much efforts from their side to overcome the habit of eating fast food.

In my view, in order to solve this problem subsidized canteens should be build and more propaganda to be spread to people about benefits of natural food.

As for me, I prefer eating in and cooking myself, but I must admit that several times I ate in fast food restaurants because I was too hungry and had no time for cooking .

lana94 1 / 3  
Dec 14, 2011   #2
hm...good essay and topic, but i think it needs more direction. what is the purpose of this essay? what is your stance on this issue? have a stronger conviction when presenting your side.

the firstly, secondly, thirdly...etc, kinda annoyed me, not gonna lie :( i think you can just cut those out and you will be fine. stronger language make your essay less generic and more passionate.

hope this helps! :)
arnela123 2 / 13  
Dec 14, 2011   #3
i agree with ^
cut out the firstlyy secondly ect.
dont write in my view- because they gave you this essay to be in your point of view.
say something like In my view,In order to solve this problem subsidized canteens should be build and more propaganda to be spread to people about benefits of natural food.

As for me , I prefer eating in and cooking myself, but I must admit that several times I ate inat fast food restaurants because I was too hungry and had no time for cooking . As you can see, ... and balh blahh ... so on.
stellastella 18 / 25  
Dec 17, 2011   #4
Dear milamiyamiila
I completely disagree with the idea of avoid using Firstly, secondly, ...
Because I am preparing for TOEFL and my teacher says we have to use this pattern in our essay. He says they make our essay more formal and academic, and I always use them. Also, you can see some samples in ETS website to be sure.


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