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IELTS Task 2: Fast food is unhealthy. Do you agree and disagree?


shezad 2 / 2  
Mar 4, 2014   #1
Hello every one. I am preparing for IELTs test and planning to attempt an exam in April 2014. I would request you to please provide me with your valuable points which can help me to improve my english.

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Food plays a vital role in the life of all human beings. There are different kind of people who like different kind of foods. For instance, some like vegetables, fruits, while other like fast food. Those people who are eating fast food regularly are more like to get high cholesterol, blood pressure, sugar and several other diseases so it is evident that fast food is unhealthy.

Over a period of years, as fast food chains have evolved, most of the people, including childrens, teenagers, youngsters, are fond of eating fast food on daily basis. It is quite obvious from the fact they are not aware about the hidden negative aspects of Fast food. It was revealed in one the the top newspapers that huge consumption of fast food is affecting the growth of children, creating significant health problems for aged people and emphasis was made to have banned all fast food companies. Doctors too have agreed with the fact that consuming fast food on regular basis is not good for health at all and must be prevented.

In my opinion, an awareness campaign should be launched comprising of doctors, mothers and affected people, where general awareness need to be given to all citizens on disadvantages of consumption of fast food. This way we can improve our society and can help all individuals to remain healthy and eat healthy food rather than wasting money and life for fast food.

vynguyen 2 / 7 1  
Mar 4, 2014   #2
Those people who are eating fast food regularly are more like to get high cholesterol, blood pressure, sugar and several other diseases so it is evident that fast food is unhealthy.

This sentence is a bit awkward and needs rewording. In the introduction of an IELTs essay, you do not have to give reasons to clarify your points. Just describe the issue and state your opinion on it.

Then, it seems to me you didn't give enough reasons as to why you think fast food is unhealthy. What's more, the topic sentence of a paragraph should stand out from the others, which in turns strengthen the point that the topic sentence makes. In the second paragraph, for example, the reader can hardly figure out what point you are going to make until they read the third sentence. This is I think not good for an IELTs essay.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 5, 2014   #3
Yes, you need to pay attention to Pahan's suggestion on the structure. You should at least have 4 paragraphs for your essay that includes the introduction, body paragraphs and the conclusion.

Overall, it seems you have good writing skills as well as good ideas. However, you need to pay serious attention to the essay structure that helps you earn a good score as well as manage time effectively. Read the sample essays Pahan has cited to get a good idea about this structure.
OP shezad 2 / 2  
Mar 9, 2014   #4
Thank You Dumi for your advise and appreciate that details.
agi 13 / 30 4  
Mar 9, 2014   #5
please visit to write fix, then you will become familiar with pattern of essay. essay should at least consist of 4 or 5 paragraphs. you need at least 2 supporting viewpoints. BESIDES HEALTHY CONCERN, YOU SHOULD INCLUDE ONE MORE REASON AGAINST FAST FOOD.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 9, 2014   #6
most of the people, including childrens, teenagers, youngsters, are fond of eating fast food on daily basis

I think this ---> including childrens, teenagers, youngsters, is unnecessary.


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